How Power of words affected your life?

Hi I am Jackson. I am a blogger and recently started my own podcast. Words have been an essential substance in my life, they moved me , shook my entire existence and played my every move. I want to know if anyone out there feel the same or encounter the strenth within the words that changed their life.
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  • @jackson30mendoza; I fully concur that words mean stuff. A big part of my recovery from alcohol abuse was just learning the proper words to frame my situation in ways that I could understand. For example, "quitting", to me, has a negative connotation. But "stopping"? That's different. I didn't "quit" anything, but I stopped destroying myself. My recovery also gave me new understanding of words I already knew. Words like, "faith", "integrity", "leadership", "promises". I knew them all before, but I had a whole new context and understanding as I progressed through my recovery. Living up to that new context and understanding has help me in all aspects of my life.

    I think finding motivation, and words that resonate with someone, are important to a recovery. Quite frankly, I think the source is irrelevant. I use the statement, "Faith is my shield; and with it, I shall know no fear" not just for my recovery, but for other elements in my life. It's borrowed from a sci-fi fantasy tabletop game, but who cares? Thinking or saying it helps to focus me and builds me up, even just a little. Look at all the people who draw inspiration from the lyrics of the trashiest, most shallow and meaningless pop songs sung by the most talentless "artists". Hey, if thinking of themselves as a firework is what it takes to snap someone out of a funk or give them the motivation to dare greatly, I say that's valid. I also say they need better taste in "music", but that is just me.
  • @jackson30mendoza hello and welcome. i agree that there is great power in words...  they carry vibration..and those vibes matter. thoughts and emotions and words all matter!
  • @jackson30mendoza,
    Your post gives me  some " food for thought— 
    totally agree that words have the power to either build you or destroy you—but not many people stop to think about it or pay attention to what they are saying...Not only WHAT they are saying but also  HOW  they are saying it! I am a teacher,so I use  words A LOT :) I  have also seen what reactions they can trigger...
    Depending on their intentions,some people use words to manipulate and achieve power and control.I think it's the intention behind the words that counts because sometimes we can hear a lot of "sweet talk ",which can be misleading and cause a lot of trouble.The thing is, until you realise you are being fooled with all these" sweet words" and they are just a facade of an emotionally abusive person ,a lot of time has passed and pain endured.Sometimes you hear cruel words that are intended to shake you.I have been through emotional abuse over the years and I get it when you say  words have the strength to shake you— I'd say to your very core!There is a saying stating "Physical wounds can heal but words can cause emotional wounds that are hard to heal" or something along the lines...Which,of course,doesn't justify physical abuse in any way.Physical wounds can be seen and it's obvious if somebody is in pain while with cruel words we carry our emotional pain deep inside and the rest cannot always validate it because it's not seen...Which doesn't mean it hurts less.
    Communication is important for people and in the best case scenario what we need for real communication is authenticity, being who we really are,dropping the facades and also the ability to be emotionally available, being able to feel what others are saying and respond appropriately and honestly...Words are just the written symbols for conveying a message,which  in its turn evokes an emotion within us...That's why we should be careful what and how we say it,trying not to hurt other people to satisfy our ego or achieve selfish goals...
    Hope my post will contribute to your thoughts and help you to relate to the experience you have
    Take care and Good luck  with your podcast :) 
  • @changeyourself ;Thank you for sharing and I agree that words can certainly build up or tear down. I think most of us can relate to someone in our lives at some point in Our Lives who were not so great verbally for us. Not everyone has experienced verbal abuse or emotional abuse, but even something as simple as being made fun of or belittled can leave a scar. Words are that powerful.

    And it's not just the words that people are saying to us, but our internal dialogue. What are we saying to ourselves. If we haven't what I call, "do the work", the subliminal programming that we've picked up as children tend to be playing like a CD over and over underneath the surface. Are you hearing the words  "I'm not good enough? I'm stupid. No one cares about me. I'll never get it right. I'm useless" and so on. 

    I believe positive affirmations for oneself can be helpful. I also believe in digging deep to get to those core wounds and the beliefs that may be lingering as a result of those wounds. 

    Glad you're doing better these days! Again thank you for sharing and glad to be sharing this journey with you.
  • @dominica,

    You have very good points there about our internal dialogue!It's us defining or evaluating our actions using words we have internalised ,that may have been imposed on us by other people.If we were made to think we are worthless,it can take years to get rid of this negative programming.With time we start to believe that we really are worthless  because others  tell us so ,it becomes our own so to say "feedback" and it plays a  crucial role in what we do or how we do it.I think this is the principle of spreading rumours - if enough number of people talk about it,even if it is a lie,people start believing this is the truth.If we have low self-esteem because we have picked up certain programming and constantly say to ourselves "I am not good enough","I'll never get it right" or some other negative assessment of our own behaviour or personality ,these are actually words (the programme) contributing to our inadequate personal development.We seem to be  stuck in that negative feedback ,and even subconsciously  sabotage our own progress.You are right we need to identify the problem and do the work to change this and  make progress.

    I can't even tell you the times I am  in doubt as to whether I am "good enough" (happens to me all the time) .But here is what I have come to believe after reading and watching some stuff.We stress ourselves  over this.I,personally,feel that constant stress ,too.I tell myself :"If I can only do this, then I'll be pleased with myself and feel better !".

    Meeting our own standards of becoming "good enough" or "better than before " can become a real challenge and so exhausting because the minute we achieve the thing which we think will make us "good enough",surprise-surprise, it turns out there is another thing after that which we find we need to achieve and the next one and who knows how many more  to make us happy and content?

     The reality is ,no matter how hard we try,we can NEVER become "good enough" because WE ARE ENOUGH just the way we are.We just don't want to believe it or accept it for a number of reasons that have nothing to do with us as individuals.We have been made to think this about ourselves and become used to regarding ourselves as inadequate ,we constantly look for things from the outside world to make us happy or whole .We become used to underestimating our own self and our achievements .Very often it is that we have been  programmed to THINK that we aren't.Some  powerful words having negative messages have been internalised in our subconscious mind and they prevent us from being the people we are supposed to be,being happy with the things we already have or have already achieved  instead of constantly worrying about what else is there that we need to do in order to become "good enough " ! Getting rid of programming is very hard,takes years to overcome but  necessary to become who we really are, our inner being,not what others made us believe we are or want us to be.

    As for being made fun of or belittled ,I think to do this  cruel words are used ,too or vague language that makes you feel embarrassed.Verbal and physical abuse are more obvious while  emotional abuse is hard to detect.I heard in a video the following - before each physical abuse,there is verbal and emotional one but because only physical abuse has serious consequences or evidence to be seen ,very often people don't pay attention to the other two types of abuse.The emotional wounds that come with them,however, are just as serious,can influence your health(both menatl and physical) as well.

    Just one more thing - I read your post about your son being sober and I feel happy for you because ,though  parents are not perfect human beings ,either , we try to raise our children in the best possible way we can ,we want them to be happy and don't want to ever see them in trouble.It is such a heart-breaking thing to see your child going through some sort of a problem  and not being able to do much about it,so I hope everything is OK!

    Glad I can share with you and take care ! 

  • @changeyourself ;Hey there. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. You are spot-on for sure. I'm so glad that you have grown so much and your journey. Thank you for the kind words about my son. It does feel good to know that he is consciously making an effort and of course as parents we really do want the best for our children .

    So glad you're here sharing your life with us! And your wisdom!
  • @dominica,

    I am so happy that someone actually appreciates my thoughts and finds them worth reading!I wrote somewhere in one of my posts that my son's father used to define  me as" boring and old-fashioned" ,with no special  interests and very rigid opinions and when I think now that at one point I nearly started to believe this...If being committed to a partner and family is considered old-fashioned,count me in :) - I'd rather be that than accommodate someone else and turn into an emotional mess! He used to tell me multiple times when I confronted him about a ceratin issue:"I don't want to change!"He was so confident about being this "good person" that didn't need to change anything about himself?What does that tell you about such an individual?So,,I was expected to change for him to stick around.And I did try .I ask myself why I put myself through all of this for so many years.The only answer that comes to mind is because I didn't think I was "good enough" and I needed to change to become "good enough".I will do my best to never agian make changes for somebody else!If I make any changes it should be because I feel I need them and I want to work towards my higher and better self,not because someone else wants me to.Good thing it's over now and the people in this community accept me the way I am (though by no means perfect,still trying to improve and learn).

    It's true I am no" party " type of person in the sense of going to bars and discos or clubs until late at night but I don't think this makes me a boring person .I generally enjoy a good conversation though , for fear of being abused again, I find it very hard to open up to people in face to face communication ).At the moment  I don't have a very busy social lfe but that is to a ceratin point kind of my personal decision because I feel I need some time out to think things over ,to slow down a little bit and take things one at a time and ,on the other hand ,I am a working mother and have a teenage son to raise which doesn't leave me a lot of time for me.I hope that doesn't sound as if I am trying to find an excuse for not going out more often and enjoying myself because sometimes I wonder if my situation will look like I am hiding behind my duties for not relating more to peopel...

    Take care and have a great week!

  • @changeyourself ;It sounds as if you've learned some pretty valuable life lessons . And I love it that you're sharing those with others. I think we're all on this self-love journey and chipping away at the "I'm not good enough"  believe. 

    I hear you on the old-fashioned thing. I think a simple life can be beautiful. I had enough of the bars in my late teens and I enjoy peace and Solitude now. Nothing wrong with that. I think it can be challenging for many people to have a social life , especially as they age. And then working on top of raising a teenage son, I'm sure that  takes up quite a bit of your energy. Be easy on yourself regarding that. 

     I'm not much of a social butterfly either. And I accept myself that way and my partner accepts me that way too. I will on occasion get out and mingle with people, not even necessarily because I want to, but because I know that my positive presence in the world makes a difference. I don't say that out of ego, but I genuinely know how to hold space and love people unconditionally, and make their days brighter. And I think the world needs that . of course I do this online all the time hee hee 

    I hope you're having a beautiful Sunday .
  • @dominica,

    I feel like I kind of mingle with people and communicate in this forum ,too (doesn't matter if I do it online,it's still a form of communication and relating to people,right ) and right now I don't feel lonely because there is a difference between being on your own and feeling lonely - feeling lonely is a state of the mind.You can be lonely among a huge crowd of people,too in the most beautiful of places.If you are not happy within and in yourself ,it doesn't matter if you are in a group of people or not ,you cannot appreciate the beauty around..

    Some people ,I notice ,constantly try to be with someone as a means of escaping from their inner loneliness but this will not go away unless you "do the work".We shouldn't use other people as "fillers" of our inner void-things don't happen in this way and it's also not fair to drag other people into our issues..

    Some people are not even aware of their inner loneliness and go from person to person in search of something they will never find because they are actually running away from themselves The sooner we realise this,the better but in most cases  it takes time and heart-breaks,too.It took me a while to get there but I'm happy I finally found my inner peace  and I don't find it necessary to justify what I enjoy doing to someone else.

    I actuallydon't mind being on my own because this gives me a chance to re-charge,so to say,after a busy week (I work on Saturdays ,too during the school year,not at school but  because I have tutoring English classes where I prepare high school students for Cambridge and IELTS exams at all levels ;  they need to pass such exams in order to apply for universities abroad ,most of them are very bright students and mainly for financial reasons ,to get a better-paid job ,decide to study in another west-European country or The USA and Canada .I don't mind doing this because for the most part I enjoy my work enormously and I also need the money...

    If I only tell you what my son wants to become,you'd be surprised,maybe  :)- he wants to play computer games in one of America's most famous teams (I forgot the name,however) but  to be a member of the team  he needs to be over 18 to apply and for the team to consider his application ,so who knows his intentions might become a reality but then again he has enough time to grow and reconsider his wants.I'd very much like for him to have a university degree (I am a teacher,after all) but he sees things in his own way and tells me that a university degree doesn't necessarily mean a decent standard of living ,so we'll see what happens.I try to explain to him  the best thing is to" have the best of both worlds" - a university degree and a well-paid job after that but obviously am not convincing enough for him...:)

    Well,for me,this is a time well-spent in a nice conversation that we are having here without the inconvenience of going to a noisy,crowded place where everybody pushes you or can step on your feet etc.

    It's almost 10 p.m. here Sunday night ,time to go to bed because this month I am working  first shift (classes start at 7.30 a.m. here ) ...

    Take care!    

  • @changeyourself ;Very interesting career choice for your son. I can understand how he would want to make money doing something that he's passionate about though. 

    I recently spent a week Solitude Retreat a few hours from home, and it was wonderful to recharge , but after a week I was ready for human interaction LOL. But not too much! I do love the online community, but I do try to balance it out by interacting with others out and about. You are right that some people run from loneliness by being overly busy . I know some people like that.



    I'm super glad that you're not feeling lonely, and that you're part of this community. We've got over a handful now who are quite regular and riding the Freedom Train as a community. I love it!
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