My next right step... 15 days sober

Hello.

I have struggled as a binge alcoholic for 18 years. Unfortunately, it took hitting rock bottom multiple times for me to truly WAKE UP. I realize now that I have been living an unconscious life with alcohol behind the wheel of MY life. I have tried to quit many times... but most of these times I was making up my own (faulty) rules: bargaining, limiting, minimizing the problem. Never saying “I need to stop drinking forever”. I just couldn’t bare the thought of stopping forever.

This time feels completely different. It has taken me an entire year from the crisis that woke me up, broke my heart into a million pieces, shook me to my core to right now-15 days sober. My story is not one of those that goes... step 1: hit rock bottom Step 2: admit you have a problem Step 3: pick yourself up from my boot straps and Get sober.
Oh no, I am much more complicated than that. It took so many rock bottoms, cheek on the tile, bricks upside the head, broken nose, arrests, destructive relationships, and on and on and on. Finally I have whole heartedly admitted I am powerless to my addiction and that I need to give it up to God. This simple act of surrender is so empowering and comforting.

I recently started reading Recovery by Russel Brand and realized I am following the 12 steps without knowing. The next step is about reaching out to others that have struggled similarly. I do not feel ready walk into a meeting, but I know I need to find support. I need to find my tribe. So my prayer for today, Good Friday, is that my next right step on my journey to becoming my truest and fullest self will be revealed to me.

❤️
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  • @Orlean81.... Welcome to the community and thank you for sharing with us. It's great that you have 15 days sober!! Big kudos to you on that!!

    I love that Russell Brand book. It puts the 12 Steps in a context that make them much more understandable...at least it did for me. I also like this quote from my favorite author, Anne Lamott:

    "Addicts and alcoholics will tell you that their recovery began when they woke up in pitiful and degraded enough shape to take Step Zero, which is: 'This shit has got to stop.'"

    We're here to help, support, and listen to you. So, whenever you feel a need, please reach out and lean on us. You are not alone, my friend. In the meantime, keep doing the next right thing. And taking the next right step. You can do this! I know you can!
  • Thank you for your support. I do love Anne Lamott, that quote is truth.
  • @Orlean81 ,
    The 12 Steps Program is the only thing that has KEPT me sober . Don't be scared of those meetings . The people in those rooms are in there for the same reason you are . Those words @DeanD said to you " You are not alone " are written on the wall at most meeting sites . So , don't be alone anymore .
    The hardest thing I ever did was walk into my first meeting . The happiest I've ever been was when I realized I could go back the next day ! Happy , Joyous , and most importantly FREE !
  • @Orlean81 nice to meet you! Just got here, but sounds like I may have crossed paths with you out there somewhere in the wind.

    I hear you - let’s do this.

    It’s Friday night and I am 1) still awake, 2) have not peed 5 times in the last hour, 3) have not had one stupid debate about ‘whose shot is it?’, 4) thinking about a shower so I can sleep well later instead of worrying about that one tomorrow, 5) I know EXACTLY where my shoes, my keys, and my wallet are, but I do not need to get to the store before it closes, 6) I ate supper already instead of waiting so I’d get a better buzz, 7) I took out the trash instead of setting it on top of more trash in a can that keeps overflowing onto the floor, 8) when I dumped the trash into the dumpster, I didn’t hear any glass bottles clanging, 9) I am very likely to brush my teeth tonight, but that happens when I don’t pass out, doesn’t it, 10) I am comfortably cool, not sweating while the thermostat is actually set warmer than I used to like it, 11) my entertainment computer / TV is not yet working, and I need to go through the reboot steps and I haven’t cussed it out yet, and 12) today was a really really truly nasty day at work, and in no way did that make me feel warranted to drink.

    Those at 12 things I am thankful for this Friday night. I cannot believe the way I have spent so many Friday, or any, nights.

    Yes - I think I finally get the point. Alcohol and me, do not agree.

    Today is 6 days sober for me. I rarely have made it through day 3, and in the past two years, day 12 has happened maybe 4 times. In fact, in the past 13 years, day 12 has maybe only happened in the 4 times that occurred in the last two years :o

    I feel like I am on a roll though- having this community to interact with is stimulating, alleviating, and positively supporting!
  • @HulkZmash I love your list, it is cracking me up. I am on day 6 too!

    And I'm going to add 13) tomorrow I will be up at 6am to go to my Gym class for a rare Saturday appearance and I am not going to ache all over my entire body with my head feeling like it's splitting and feeling like I'm going to throw up. 13) tomorrow I won't feel bad about some dumb ass thing I said and worry if I lost another friend. 14) I won't be thanking God that I didn't kill someone in my car or end up in prison. 15) tomorrow I can skip recycling day because I don't have a zillion cans and bottles.

    Thanks for the fun game! Lol
  • @HulkZmash

    Thank you for your words and humor! I needed to read them tonight. I am realizing in my new sober life there is no where to hide. I am just out here raw in the elements of my life... and it’s exhausting so far. But it’s better than living in a fog of disillusion...

    Oh and 16) I won’t have to grab my cellphone as soon as i wake with a splitting headache, through squinting tired eyes to see if and who i drunk dialed and texted in my drunken stupor
  • Good morning @Orlean81 and @Peony55555 and errbody else! 17) I am up at 5:15am, and it’s actually because I slept so incredibly hard last night beginning at 10pm that I am up and looking forward to the sunrise- they have always been my favorite. Sunsets are awesome, and their color lasts longer, but sunrise? Can’t beat it :)

    It is a good day to find a brand new perspective in something that has been present, but unnoticed, while we’ve been sailing through the fog.

    Please share what you find today, regardless of what emotion it carries with it. Take care of you while you’re at it!
  • Good Morning @Orlean81! As I read your post, I thought, is this person me? It's shocking to me how much we all have in common. I have had many different times in life, where I think to myself, 'these are my people.' But holy cow, I never expected this to happen. It's quite comforting. Will have to seek out the Russell Brand book.

    @Peony55555 enjoy the gym, pain and ill free! I am typically the one sleeping in, to sleep off the ill, and cranky if the fam wakes me. It's wonderful to be awake and enjoy coffee made for me by my husband and have the morning quiet while the kids are at Grandmothers. 18) And thank goodness I'm awake, or her text updates about the kids would be waking me up right now!

    19) I think last night was one of our few-can count on one hand -nights, with no kids, spent sober. I am reading Between Parent and Child right now and like my thoughts when reading posts others have written here, where I think I could be saying this exact same thing....I feel like this book is speaking to me directly. Saying hey woman, your kids need you to not freak out over every spill, over every piece of laundry in the floor, over every tiny cut out paper piece from art projects in the carpet. The only way I'm going to be the mother I want to be is to keep sobriety first on my list. May we all keep the strength!

    @HulkZmash, enjoy your sunrise! Thanks for the positive morning vibe and encouragement. I find myself thinking that I don't need to come here unless I'm feeling like I 'need' it. But, you remind me that encouragement is useful and necessary at any time, not just the down times.

  • @Peony55555 @HulkZmash great lists you two... and congrats on now 7 days sober!! you are doing this!

    thanks so much for sharing here with us! have a beautiful saturday.
  • Saturday was a BEAR - well, made it back home and did not drink, so day 7 is realized, but this was the first day out in the big city with temptation and stress everywhere, and yes, raw senses that are not accustomed to the stimulation and potential interpersonal conflicts that don’t occur in a normal workday. The traffic, the dude trying to make a buck by offering to pop out the hail dents on my car hood for a mere $500. The waitress and staff that ignore one’s presence for 15min and get nothing correct, and the need to drive a vehicle 60 miles to a repair shop while it is leaking fuel...and then, to return back to a familiar setting for a birthday with booze that we’d normally be partaking of.

    Not an easy day. Nice to know the community as here to cheer me if I succeeded and cheer me up if I didn’t quite make it this time. I made it, at least today - I’m going to chalk that up as #)20.

    Hope errbody out there is finding a way to muddle, shine, or at least take it one step at a time through to another sober morning tomorrow.

    If not, well, then gonna have to give it another go without hating yourself for the detour.
  • @SalTheGalFromCal nice to meet you and thanks for support! I hope you are having a great holiday weekend:) This community is a huge support to me and yes it’s pretty crazy how connected are experiences are. ❤️
  • @HulkZmash great job crushing a bear of a day! I have been laying pretty low, but it definitely gets tough when you have to participate in the real world;). We can do this! 1 day at a time. Have a happy Easter!
  • @HulkZmash @SalTheGalFromCal @Orlean81 glad ya'll had a good Saturday and remain strong on the path!

    HAPPY EASTER!
  • Happy Easter all! Cold snap and normally outside picnic becomes like a winter barn party. Booze beer and wine...none for me, but I’m not enjoying it yet. It will get better
  • @HulkZmash, @SalTheGalFromCal, @Orlean81, and @Peony55555... All of you are crushing it! Keep moving in the right directions, my friends! And keep making gratitude lists. They work!!! No matter how small something may seem, if it's a positive thing in your life...Write it down!!

    Hope you all had a nice Easter! Have a fabulous week...one day at a time!!!
  • I hope you all had a Happy Easter. Thank you @DeanD for your encouragement! @HulkZmash I feel you on being in tough environments for sobriety! High five
  • @Orlean81 - you got it! High five! Keep on Keeping on...the weekends can be harder, but I could backslide any ‘ole day of the week.

    Not tonight though!

    B)
  • Thanks for the positivity All! Glad you made it tonight @HulkZmash. I did too. Successful work travel day. Historically, ample opportunity to indulge. Feels good to not. Changes are good. Meeting up with old cousins tomorrow night, who want to take me out for drinks. They don’t yet know that I’ll be drinking soda. I’m freakin’ over 40 and worried about what? Peer pressure ? Not exactly. More like how to say and how much to say. It’ll be interesting. But I am resolved.
  • Glad you had a successful and sober work trip @SalTheGalFromCal! I am traveling all week for work and historically staying in hotels has been some of my most destructive nights... stayed in my room and got room service last night. 1 night down, 2 to go. Also, i completely understand what you are saying with explaining the non drinking. I think the less is more strategy is what I am going to use for now... but time will tell! Have a great Tuesday all!
  • @Orlean81, We did it! May Day 2 of travel go as well for us both! Sending you large volumes of good energy!
    I get to go home Weds, but then gone again again M-F next week. That one will be weird because I will be with my work family of 12 yrs. I work from home, and will travel back to the office next week. They all know me as a party gal. A couple of them are familiar with my no booze attempts of the past, and that they don’t stick. But, I suppose I will rumble with the present before I get too worked up about next week.
    Less is more—-I tend to agree. Like sewing , can’t go back once the fabric is cut. Start with small increments and grow them as the comfort level indicates. (Funny thing tho—my mind agrees, but my mouth takes frequent holidays on its own. Jeez—couldn’t we all just have one problem at a time?! ) :wink:

    Have a good day Everyone!
  • @Orlean81 @SalTheGalFromCal congrats on your continued sobriety! that's wonderful!! i am sending strength and courage to both of you as you keep navigating life without alcohol.... it may be tricky meeting up with people, but by you not drinking, you may be giving the other people permission to honestly look at their own alcohol intake.... if they feel odd drinking alone, without you, maybe they should feel odd and wonder why it is they feel that way. maybe they are somehow dependent on it too and MAYBE they'd like to cut down or quit (never know!)

    be the change you wish to see in the world. that helps me :)

    sending big love your way!
  • Morning gang - I fell asleep at 8pm last night. My body and mind are healing and it is a long road of changes. The sleep was necessary and I had a project I needed to finish last night, but found it easier to get up at 5am and finish than try to focus last night. Woke up before the alarm and have had a good morning thus far. My liver has stopped hurting, but that healing is a long way to go still and my skin is slowly improving - I have been fighting full-body eczema since 2005 and have yet to stay sober long enough to know if living without alcohol will clear that up - I hope so because it is nearly constant hell to have large amounts of skin itching, hurting and bleeding round the clock.

    Last night was the end of 9 days sober and I had night sweats all night long. Guess I am largely unaware of my detox patterns past 3-4 days because they have been so rare.

    Live and learn. 1/3 of the way to a full month of sobriety today and so far, this time has been different than all attempts preceding it.
  • @Orlean81 and @SalTheGalFromCal - congrats on travel stress and hotel stays without drinking! That can be extremely difficult. Hang in there and we’ll be free of the trap someday!
  • @HulkZmash congrats on 9 day!! yay!! you are making progress and i'm sure even though your body is doing some "odd"things right now, it IS healing, and that should count for some peace of mind... good for you!!

    so so happy you are making this turn in life and embracing life sober and free....
  • Like sewing , can’t go back once the fabric is cut.

    @SalTheGalFromCal... This reminds me of something my wood shop teacher taught me waaaaay back in the day: "Measure twice, cut once."

    Glad all you folks are making progress and staying sober. Remember, moving ahead in small increments is perfectly acceptable. Because even baby steps will eventually get you to where you want to be!

    Keep moving forward, y'all!!!
  • @Orlean81 - how’re you doing? Hope the travel week hasn’t been too rough, thinking about you today.
  • Hello out there... so I had a little snag in my recovery during my work trip.... I knew this was going to be a difficult week for me bc of traveling away for meetings. I work in a company that really likes to let loose and party, which about a month ago was a perfect fit for me. But now, it’s a challenge. I made the first 2 nights of the trip with little effort. The 3rd night the gang invited me down before dinner for cocktails. I had been feeling alienated from not participating the past 2 nights and this is a group of people I do not know well. I called my hubby and he talked me through it. I went down for dinner after skipping cocktail hour and got into the party bus for dinner. We got to the restaurant and of course every single person ordered a cocktail and i had this moment where i thought... I am just ordering a wine with dinner, that’s all... and then I did. I ordered a Sauvignon blanc, took 2 sips and didn’t touch the glass the rest of the night. This experience I am taking as a positive though. It is keeping me alert to the fact that I need to stay 100% focused on taking the next right steps, one baby step at a time.

    Thanks for listening ❤️
  • Hello @Orlean81! Good to hear from you, I’ve been wondering how the rest of your week went. Travel for work is tough. Strange bed, off the normal routine, exhaustion. Ugh. It’s tough too when you don’t know people well, and are trying to fit in. It sucks. Don’t be hard on yourself over the 2 sips.
    You didn’t finish the glass, that’s good!
    I hope you made it home, and relax and enjoy the weekend.
  • @Orlean81 - good work! The two sips and no more is equivalent to pouring almost an entire glass out or walking into a liquor store and not buying anything. I don’t think I could yet order a glass of wine and stare it down without finishing it, even with a meal.

    It’s unfortunate that being part of the evening necessitated a blatant confrontation with alcohol each day, but it sounds like you did well!
  • @Orlean81 hey there! thanks for sharing.

    good for you for staying true to your recovery journey...remember, we're after progress; not perfection...and progress you have made!! congrats!!

    i do find that sooooo many people drink. it can be challenging to be the odd ball, but it does get easier :)

    so glad you're here sharing this journey with us! have an amazing weekend <3
  • Thanks everyone for the support and kind words. Hope you all are having a great start to the weekend:)
  • @Orlean81 - Day 15 is in the books for me today! Good weekend indeed! That’s two full weekends without booze...not that there was ever anything magical about weekends and booze for me, any day was as good as any other, but the weekends were worse because drinking ‘round the clock was easy to slip into without work getting in the way.

    Let’s keep this train rolling!
  • @HulkZmash glad you had a successful weekend! I am still on the train! I have to travel this week for work again, but I strategically booked a hotel with no bar! Why have the temptation is what I figured!

    Feeling very restless lately, without numbing my feelings out I am tired a lot too. But the positive is i am super proud of my self and I know in the long run all these negative things will disappear.

    Thanks for your friendship on our road to recovery!❤️
  • @Orlean81.... I think you handled things quite well. Like Dominica said, it's about progress, not perfection. Use the events of this weekend as a learning experience. And know that you have come a long way.

    I am very proud of you. And kudos to you for booking a room in a hotel with no bar for your travel this week. I'm glad that you're consciously doing things like that to create a better environment for yourself.

    We're all behind you, my friend!
  • @HulkZmash... Big props to you for having a good weekend! And 15 days is terrific!! You are doing this!!!
  • Hope everyone’s week is going great! I am having a pretty successful week I have to say! Feels good!❤️
  • @Orlean81 hey you! thanks for checking in! glad you are having a good week!

    i bet it does feel good! good to hear your optimism and joy!

    keep moving forward!!
  • Hey-yah @Orlean81! Great to hear. Awesome that you’re traveling and feeling good while living beyond alcohol! Proud of your progress and success- keep at it!
  • Happy to hear your week is going well, @Orlean81! I hope that continues on into the weekend, too! :)
  • Good going @Orlean81! Your positivity is awesome!
    I’ve been out of town for work all week, get to go home tomorrow. I made it!
    2 dinner dates with one of my favorite friends, she had wine both evenings.
    A group of us travel together and stay in a house together. We had an after work get together on Weds. I counted the bottles of wine as I dumped them in the recycling bin. (I was housekeeping. May have had some extra energy to burn off by keeping busy.) 7 wines and 5 beers were consumed over the evening. I smelled it. It wasn’t awesome. It was kind of sickeningly heavy and sweet. I didn’t want it. Didn’t hurt that wine isn’t my fave.
    Tonight was one of our biggest annual work parties. We’re given drink tickets. I gave mine away.
    This week, I had only a few of the old thoughts—stressful day full of meetings, I need a drink to unwind—kind of thoughts. Thankfully, they were fleeting and Hulk texted me and kept me grounded. I am mentally and physically exhausted, but wound up a bit after the party. I feel good. And I get to see my guys (spouse and sons) tomorrow. And they did pretty darn goood this week without me. I have a lot that I am grateful for. Including spending time here at the end of the days.
    I am afraid of the sober honeymoon ending and things getting hard. It’s always been hard when I’ve tried to quit in the past. I’m not entirely certain of what makes this time different, but it is, and I want it to stay that way. Whatever it takes, right? I’m not sure who said that here, I read it in a thread many days ago.. maybe @DeanD...but I like it. So thank you.
    Night All.
  • Great to hear @SalTheGalFromCal! It couldn’t have been easy this week - be proud of how it went - I’m impressed! Travel safe and can’t wait til you’re home (you gotta do the taxes still, remember?) :#
  • @SalTheGalFromCal sounds like you crushed your week! Congrats! Traveling for work is one of the hardest parts for me, as it is historically when I have done the most damage...

    This time feels completely different also... 18 yrs later ;) our experience is keeping us on our toes, which is probably a good thing! I hope you have a great weekend! ❤️
  • Hi all-hope everyone’s weekend was great. I had an incredibly emotional weekend. My cravings are definitely getting weaker... but my emotions are getting overwhelming. I guess this is what it feels like when you are not constantly numbing. I have been obsessively thinking about all the things I have royally F’ed up all these years drinking. My thoughts and feelings are so overwhelming sometimes it physically hurts. Unfortunately, the wreckage I have created I will have to carry my whole life-and my husband and children will have to carry-that’s the unbearable part. Why couldn’t I have only hurt myself? I have been sleep walking through most of my life, now I am awake and I am lost.
  • @Orlean81 - I hear ya. Let it ride and it’ll stabilize. I’ve been having some wild ups and downs emotionally and there’s no real explaining it, but I’m sure it’s OK to have the feelings, but I am also sure it does no good to worry about them. And I am willing to bet the wreckage you’re perceiving is like a picture where you thought you looked horrible and then see it many years later and realize it only looked bad in your own mind at the time, not in others’. So, breathe- be glad you’re having lessened cravings, or at least ones you can win against with confidence.

    Day 22 here - some rough situations where I’d normally drink. After a track meet today, we stopped at a Buffalo Wild Wings - the same place we stopped a year ago following the same location’s track meet one year ago - and we have been there about 3-4 times in the past 1.5 years with the kids. Our youngest, 6 yr old, asked if I and mom were getting beer - we always have, and I said, not today. He replied, “good, I don’t like the smell of beer”. When I replied that we haven’t had beer for 22 days, he didn’t respond, know what to say, or couldn’t comprehend what it meant or if he even believed me to begin with. I am not sure, but it’s certainly the longest stretch we’ve gone in his life without drinking and I am sure he’s aware of it in some context, but not directly because he didn’t really think it was strange that we do drink so much, just that that is what adults must do....we are hoping to be clear for good and that the memory of it will be a faint record in our 9 yr old’s memory, not a full-frontal reckoning through his child-into-adulthood. My dad chewed tabacoo until when I was @ 7-8 and I rarely recall it, even though as a 5-7 yr old I would scrape empty Copenhagen cans and dip it myself....pretty strong buzz. It became ancient history as I aged into puberty and beyond. Time changes things and context of memories.

    You’re doing well Orlean81 and there’s no valid reason to go back now...onward and upward!
  • @Orlean81–on the positive side, you’re not drinking now and that’s awesome progress.
    We can’t change the past. But we can focus on who we want to be and how we will get there.
    Please look for Oprah’s super soul podcast and listen to the 2 part interview with Brene Brown. She’s written several books and she’s amazing. If you like the podcast, look up her books. We read the gifts of imperfection in our office book club. That’s where I first learned of her. She has a ted talk, that my friends love, but I’ve not listened to it. I bought braving the wild, but haven’t started it. I think I’m afraid of how strongly it will make me feel.
    I’m so sorry it’s been a heavy weekend. Hang in there, sending big virtual hugs!! ❤️
  • @Orlean81... Things will get better in time. Trust me. And listen to the wise words that @HulkZmash and @SalTheGalFromCal have written to you.

    BTW, Brene Brown is awesome!!! :)
  • Hello all! I hope you had a successful week! Still trucking along on my end:)
  • Hey @Orlean81, happy Friday! Still trucking here too. Weird week. Mostly good, mood swings, work, family, house. You know, typical stuff for nearing 30 days sober. It feels like a millisecond and forever at the same time. It will keep getting better.
  • Good going @Orlean81 and @SalTheGalFromCal - yesterday was another monster craving day for me. The window of occurrence was short (1 hour instead of my old usual of 4), but it was severe. I also can’t determine if it was just desire for a known habit, my brain’s physiological dependence, or what, but I am learning that waiting out the raw, nerve ending sting off craving is doable and while it is an anxiety-filled ride that could be temporarily soothed by succumbing to the craving, it’s finally not worth doing no matter how I measure the trade-offs between ‘one more time’ and ‘yeah, I am ok being done with substance addiction’ enough to not dabble with the stuff. So, Day 28 is happening now and there are two social events today that have historically led to drunkenness....potential rough ride, but feeling completely doable this morning.
  • First of the two events is completed. Success! And a very good interaction overall. Great friends, married couple with many of the same drinking patterns that we have. They were interested to hear about our current 28 day run in sobriety and we got to have an open and frank discussion about it, the difficulties, the realities of what it has meant for us thus far and the coming to terms with alcohol ‘co-existence’ in our society and lives without actually doing any drinking ourselves. It was fun and good to visit with them. Now, I gotta wear a suit and tie for today’s next shindig...it’s not the banquet where I usually drink, it’s the anxiety of the banquet and the ‘reward’ of drinking once we get to LEAVE the banquet that turns into a drunken mess....should be OK this time. Check in with y’all after while!
  • @SalTheGalFromCal so happy for you! Totally weird week for me too... but glad we are still getting up everyday and kicking butt! I LOVE Brene Brown! She is so incredible at articulating what our crazy minds do to us! She says shame cannot live with truth and empathy-it’s shames kryptonite. This forum is helping me tell my truth and I feel it changing me. So thank you:)

    @HulkZmash sorry you are muscling through cravings, as you know I completely get it! My cravings have been replaced with anxiety... But I am trying to stay positive. I listed to a talk the other day from Anne Lamont and she said “freedom is in discipline.” That spoke to me. I am going to work on adding some structure to my days this coming week. Hopefully it will help me. I’ll let you guys know how it goes...
  • I SO appreciate going through this with you @Orlean81!
  • @Orlean81 - I understand the anxiety battles, and have found that for both the cravings and the crazies I can separate that it is ok and normal to feel them and simultaneously realizing that I do not need to feel bad or guilty for having them. At that point it is simply a matter of letting those pass while I go on about my day - to me it kind of feels like an ‘unspooling’ of emotion simply because I’m not repeating my former patterns. In time, I expect new patterns (trying to emplace some good ones!) will emerge and the anxiety and cravings will subside and become memories that can be mostly forgotten instead of reflexes that occur mostly autonomously.

    Time to get up and enjoy the day!
  • @HulkZmash congrats on now 29 days! woohoo! so glad you're getting through and learning some new patterns, as you say.

    @SalTheGalFromCal and congrats to you too! so grateful ya'll are here sharing your journey! and yes, Brene Brown has some super valuable information out there. incredible! glad you have found it helpful (and that your office has a book club) wow! pretty cool!

    happy sunday!
  • Hello there friends. I hope you are all doing great! I am traveling for work tomorrow-it’s going to be a tough one. I am definitely known as the fun partier (imagine that;) and I know people are going to be shocked that I am not drinking on a trip like this. Eek. Here goes nothing... wish me luck!
  • Good luck @Orlean81, you can do it! Remember the tips and things you did last time to get you through. And this time you have more day to day experience under your belt. You’ve come so far, you’re obligated to only yourself. You can still be a party gal—-just a new kind of party. Sober party—-WOOOHOOO!!
  • The rest of my comment keeps falling off. I wasn’t finished...
    No joking, have dessert, have a clear head, no need for Tylenol...that’s a good party. A guilt free, paranoid free, good time.
    You can do this.
    We’re here to support you.
    Safe travels!
  • One more— if you need an excuse, just say you’re “on a cleanse.”
  • @SalTheGalFromCal thanks for the encouragement! I did it:)
    I survived the whole event and a cocktail infested dinner! It felt pretty darn good and I had a great time too! So to sum it up... I pretty much crushed today
  • Fantastic @Orlean81 congratulations, you should be extremely proud of yourself :)
  • @Orlean81... You are indeed crushing it. Super proud of you!
  • @Orlean81 ah, that's wonderful! i bet it feels amazing to be in your shoes :) congrats to you and thank you for sharing!
  • Nice work Orlean81!

    That’s awesome news - it can be done! :)
  • Good evening all! I just calculated my sober time and I am not quite to 2 months. I feel like I haven’t had a drink in like, 6 months! It’s a crazy time warp right now. It feels like time is moving slower... maybe that’s bc I am not blacked out a quarter of the time... lol, sad but true! Anyone else having this same experience?
  • I know what you mean @Orlean81, 1, 4, 7, 30+ days can slip by without much notice when drinking and just trying to take care of one’s basic needs. I keep thinking I’ll get ahead on so many projects that need to get done, but the backlog is enormous. Whether I get more done in a day or not, my mind is more present and I engage more with the people in my life, and that increased number of interactions outside my own head makes the days seem fuller, if not longer, and perhaps slower.

    My face needs shaved at the same frequency, so I don’t think my metabolic clock is much different - although I used to go a few days drinking and suddenly become aware that my stubble was out of hand and think time had slipped on me again...
  • So glad to hear that your mind is more present and that you're engaging more with the people in your life, @HulkZmash. That's good stuff!
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