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  • Hi @poolbubbles112 I dated a narcissistic sociopath and it was definitely a mind f*ck. In the beginning he made me feel gorgeous and special then I was more his project. Some of it I appreciate today, like trying a new short haircut & embracing my own feminine style. When we would be getting ready to go out, he would always have an opinion of what I should wear and even though we didn’t have much money, he would always want the expensive boutique clothes. I know there’s a whole bunch more he did that would be good examples I just can’t think of any atm... not sure if my examples go with your question or not?
  • @poolbubbles112 My therapist and I are just starting to examine if I have/had a narcissist disorder because it fits a lot of my behavior through life. Ultimately it doesn't matter because it's just another diagnosis, but it is important to try and see how it tied into my addictions.
    When you're a narcissist, you're the center of your world...and everybody else's...
    and just in case they don't recognize it, you're going to make sure they know.
    Those close to you are extensions of you. You are defined by the company you keep, so you need to control those around you so they don't embarrass you or make you look worse in other people's eyes. They are there to build you up. Should they try to offer constructive criticism, it's to be immediately ignored, but it will make you seethe, despite the fact you criticize other people all day. When you see somebody have a victory, you get jealous, believing the success should have been yours and that the world is conspiring against you.
    At the core, you know you're a anxiety-ridden mess with no self confidence, but the way to combat that is to create a world that you control. And empathy? That's for the weak and it's important the others -- especially strangers, who are easiest to paint a picture of yourself for -- not believe you are weak. You'll only cry at a funeral if you think other people are watching and it will somehow elevate you in their eyes.
    I could go on and on, but I think you get the gist...
  • @poolbubbles112 hello and welcome. i am no expert on narcissism.. there is a lot of info online though, but i think some people are quick to call others narcissists...when they're really just extremely selfish and emotional immature.

    but it is a good topic to learn about, so you can be on the lookout for narcissist characteristics. i will note on the opposite end of a narcissist is usually someone with very little self-worth, unable to set boundaries, lacking confidence, victim mentality, etc.

    i heard that a true narcissist will rarely do the self-exploration or inner work necessary to see if they are indeed narcissist... @JoshuaShea
  • @dominica There are some who believe that a true narcissist would never accept that they are, which is why I probably fall a little short, but it's also one of those diagnoses that a good therapist won't give for a long time until they really establish a pattern of behavior.
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