Looking for support

Hi there! I'm new to this forum and looking for support. I lost everything over a year ago from custody of my daughter, apartment, job, etc. I completed detox a year ago but ended up on subs after I got out. I've had a hard time mentally, my doc says its protracted withdrawal. I'm stuck living in the middle of no where until I finish my taper off subs, get my car back, and can hopefully find a job. I have my boyfriend and my dad for support but I'm depressed without my daughter, especially because an abusive custody battle was the reason I was using, to numb myself. I'm trying so hard to find the strength to move forward but feel hopeless. Anyone relate to any of this?
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  • Hi @MLF88 welcome! Recovery is hard and I can understand even more difficult when you lose all that you valued at the time... let your daughter, bf & dad be your motivation! I don’t have children however I know my family were a big part in my fentanyl recovery. I realized how awful it would be if my father had to bury me. Although I never told him the truth of my addiction, the look of concern and the words he spoke about how frail I was, plus the look of concern my brother showed, was enough for me. I quit cold turkey and although it was hell I often remind myself of how walking up the steps to my dads house was difficult to do and the looks of concern they had... I won’t put them through that again! I also remember the satisfaction I felt of regaining my strength so maybe begin a small workout routine, even if it’s yoga every morning. Sending you love and hope! You will get through this and Yes! YOU ARE worth it! :heart:
  • @MLF88 Hello and welcome. I'm so glad that you're here! The others have given some pretty good insight and advice. Not sure I have much to add to that. I understand it would be disheartening not to have your daughter with you, but perhaps this can be a motivation for you to do whatever it takes to get her back. I'm not sure what you find that motivates you, but maybe think about this.

    For example, I regularly have to listen to or watch something on YouTube about certain topics in order for me to feel motivated or encouraged or inspired. I have to remind myself or my thought life that I do matter, I can make changes, that I deserve happiness or whatever it is I want. Sometimes the mind can revert back to those dysfunctional thought patterns we picked up as a kid or somewhere along life, so do whatever you can do in order to feed your mind good positive things. I hope that makes sense.

    And come back here as often as you like. Consider us your friends along this journey, and we believe in you and want the best for you and your family.
  • @MLF88... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing the difficulties you've been going through with us. I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you, but I'm glad you went through detox and are working on bettering yourself.

    I don't have any direct experience with what you've gone through, but I know that recovery is journey that can take a while. And it also can have its ups and downs and twists and turns. It's never a straight line.

    I would suggest that you keep working at tapering off the Suboxone, and keep taking steps forward. If you do that, I think good things will come your way...including getting to see your daughter again.

    Have you ever gone to support group meetings? Those might be helpful to you? What about seeing a therapist? That might help, too. Just a couple of additional tools for you to consider, because when you have more tools in your recovery toolbox, the journey can be a little bit easier.

    We're here for you. If you need help, support, or just a place to vent, come back anytime. You are not alone. In the meantime, I'm sending you tons of love, light, and hope. And lots of clean & sober juju, too. You're doing a great job. Keep doing the next right thing.
  • Hey, @MLF88... How are you doing, my friend? Let us know when you have a chance. We're here and we care. And like @blueorchid said, YOU ARE WORTH IT! I want to share this quote from my favorite author with you, too:

    “Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.” --Anne Lamott

    You can find the dawn again. I know you can.
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