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What Anxiety Looks Like from The Outside
I recently met a guy that seemed cool when we first met at a little show a local band was playing. In fact, he was the guitarist. He came up to me towards the end of the night and casually chatted me up. Of course, all his friends were there and being a majority of the way through the night and he seemed loose and easy going. We had talked a little more when the band finished playing and even went out to eat afterwards. We eventually exchanged numbers that night and parted ways.
You can imagine my surprise then when over the next couple weeks, he seemed a bit standoffish. We hung out a few more times in public places, another concert, dinner, nothing too crazy. But each time, after we went out, I’d play it cool and let him text me. He always sent a text within 24 hours but wasn’t much of a conversation holder through text.
After we spent a little more time together he told me that he knows he comes across as standoffish and that’s it’s not me, it’s him. “A-hub. Sure,” I thought as I kind of just labeled him a player trying to keep his cards straight in my mind. The conversation didn’t end there though, he told me about his anxiety and how everything from what he has or hasn’t eaten that day to whatever else is going on just plays tricks on his mind when he gets out into social settings.
Over the next few weeks, as I learned more, it all started making sense. I’ve watched him when we first meet up or even when we go out somewhere together and the first hour is hell for him. He stands sort of off to a side, a quiet and dark corner if he can find one and doesn’t make a lot of eye contact, conversation is simply non-existent.
To me, it seemed like he was being rude! After all, who takes someone out and then crosses their arms and doesn’t speak to them? Inside though, his mind was racing, the stimulus of being spoken to while listening to all the other people talking or brushing past him was simply too much. If there were lights moving or music playing mixed in with all the people and talking you could almost see the storm brewing in his panicked eyes.
Be careful how you treat, or judge others based on the way you perceive them. Try to treat people with kindness, you never know whose solemn face and unwavering stance is masking the perfect storm of anxiety just beneath the surface.
Reference
Guetschow, C. “When I Watched Someone Else Have A Panic Attack”. The Mighty. (website). 2016-
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