Years in porn addiction

I have been addicted to porn and masturbation for at least 8 years now. I have been in and out of this behaviour for a while now. I'm not married but I can't seem to have the confidence to approach a woman and take her out for a date. I'm always afraid that I will never satisfy a woman sexually. my life is a mess and I hate every day I live. please help
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  • @Combar Hello and welcome. Thank you for reaching out. Have you thought about seeing a therapist? Perhaps an addiction specialist? I do know that there are those who can help you manage or overcome this addiction....

    I'm glad you want to change this behavior. Don't give up... keep trying. @JoshuaShea is likely to comment here.... he has overcome similar circumstances and now helps others get free.

    just know that we are here...and we'll root you on. Try not to beat yourself up. You have an addiction...you are NOT a bad person. Don't let those types of thoughts get you.....

    Begin a personal and/or spiritual journey... use this as an opportunity to go within...work on any issues under the surface... and please keep coming back here.
  • @Combar Like @dominica said, the first thing you need is a therapist. If you don't get a good vibe from the first, try a second, then a third. I've yet to meet someone who has got as far in recovery as me (just over 4.5 years) who has not had a therapist they worked very well with.
    I don't know if the fear of satisfying a woman sexually or confidence in taking one out on a date really has to do with porn, but this is part of the reason you need a therapist. They can help untangle the web and solve the puzzle of how you got to where you did. There were parts of my addiction I was sure I understood, but once I started digging, was quickly proven wrong.
    I'd urge you to try to find a Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting and take on a sponsor as quickly as possible. I think you need someone to talk to who has been through what you're experiencing who you can relate to who can help you steer away from negative thinking.
    You have a problem. It can be fixed with hard work and a willingness to be open and go down roads many find difficult. I am proof that you can do it. You just have to make those first steps.
  • Welcome to the community, @Combar. And thanks for sharing with us. I suggest you consider the suggestions @JoshuaShea made to you. He's very knowledgable in this area.

    We are here to help and support you however we can.
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