Did I worsen or cause my scoliosis? Is it my fault?

Hello.
I have a suspicion that scoliosis is my fault. I had underweight with 55 kilograms from 16 to 19 years due to mental health problems as a male with 1.82 meters of height. Then at late 19 years they found I had a 20° S-curve scoliosis. (At 20 years my weight was normal again.)

Was the scoliosis caused or worsened by my underweight? Did my underweight have any bad effect on the scoliosis? Did I worsen or cause my scoliosis? Is it my fault then? Was it caused or worsened by underweight + poor posture?

Or did my underweight not cause or worsen my scoliosis, not even any little bit? Is it completely not my fault?

I want to know this because I do strength workouts and I can't concentrate so well due to thinking about this all the time. Living without knowing if I caused or worsened my scoliosis is a big burden to me. My doctors said they do not know an answer to my question because it's an idiopathic scoliosis with no known causes. But what do you think?

In short:
I had underweight with 55 kilograms from 16 to 19 years due to lots of anxiety and psychosis. (At 20 years my weight was normal)
At 19 years though I was diagnosed with a 20° S-curve scoliosis. Was this a result from my underweight and poor posture? Did I cause or worsen my scoliosis? If I had had normal weight would I now have only a 5° curve or no scoliosis at all? Could it have been prevented? Is it my fault?
  • 40 Commentsby Likes|Date
  • Does underweight contribute to scoliosis? Did I worsen or cause it? Is it my fault?
  • Does noone know if scoliosis was my fault? If you do, please tell me. I don't want to have caused or worsened it though.
  • "Fault" is not in question here. You can't possibly blame yourself for your own anxiety or weight loss.
    What does it change? You can't go back in time, and back then, at the time, you could not possibly control the situation, so no, you are not at fault.
    Fault is when you knowingly did something to cause harm to yourself. it's not the case.
    Is there any way of seeing someone to help you with your feelings of guilt?
  • Well, actually... I felt so much anxiety in school and was (rarely) bullied by some. That made me hate school forever and later when I got sent to the mental hospital the psychologists diagnosed me with Asperger, Psychosis and Undifferentiated Schizophrenia.
    At least I got a story to tell. But the truth is that even though I seem to have had all these illnesses, I was actually angry a lot. So in school I was anxious beyond anything and when I got home that anxiety turned itself into anger...

    That means that at home I could have actually eaten something. But somehow I became so angry that I willingly refused to even try to eat. There were also about three single days of school when I did not eat anything for the entire day. My mother says though that even when I was 55 kg I didn't have poor nutrition.
    I had to switch to those astronaut drinks as food for like a month or two. They include everything you need though as my mom claims.

    But maybe I had lack of muscles or something and this caused my scoliosis? At 20 years my weight was normal again. But I blame myself for getting underweight. I know noone really knows the answer but did my underweight worsen or cause my scoliosis?

    I mean was my underweight the cause for my scoliosis? Or was it just a growth spurt during puberty and it was programmed into my genetic code? ^^
    Is it my fault or completely not my fault?
  • Did my scoliosis develop and reach 20° because of underweight and poor posture?
  • I just wanted to do strength workout to have a "perfect body" (if that makes sense) but now with scoliosis it's not possible. Makes it hard for me to concentrate on the training. I still do it but only when I get told that scoliosis is not my fault. Otherwise my heart starts burning. I have OCD too by the way. So I'm body conscious. Does anyone know the answer to my question? Or how can I stop this burning feeling inside?
  • I really don't want to have caused and worsened my scoliosis through some petty underweight and poor posture... cause if it's not my fault and if it was not preventable then I can accept that I have scoliosis.
  • There is no answer to your question.
    it's as if you've set yourself a trap by asking. Your anger and lack of will to eat was NOT your fault.
    In saying that, it's the reality now and you cannot go back from it. Think forwards, not backwards.
    20° cobb angle is mild enough, so you can still live well, and most importantly, stop progression of the angle.
    As for your other issues, it's very important to find therapists trained in the area. Obviously you were misdiagnosed when you were younger.
  • If anyone else knows if I caused or worsened my scoliosis then please tell me.
  • @Arctic I agree with your doctors that you did not cause your scoliosis. so now i hope you can move on from this and keep working on growing in whatever areas you want to grow in.

    i'm sorry kids at school were so mean... glad you are in a better environment now.

    thank you for reaching out!
  • Why did I get scoliosis then.. if it's not my fault?
  • Did I really not worsen my scoliosis because I had underweight and poor posture?
  • Did I do something wrong to get scoliosis?
  • @Arctic... I don't think your being underweight caused you to get scoliosis. I'm not a doctor, but I've never heard of that happening. And if your doctors have said that yours is an idiopathic scoliosis with no known causes, I would take them at their word. Obsessing over the cause is not going to change anything. Worrying doesn't actually DO anything (except make us miserable).

    If I were you, I would think about talking to a therapist about this. Do you have a therapist already?

    We're here to support you but, like your doctors, we can't tell you why or how you got scoliosis.
  • Okay my parents won't pay again for a therapist cause they think I don't need one and they're kinda greedy. I'm curious tho what would the therapist do to help me with this? Reassure me that it is not my fault? Cause I don't see any other way.
  • But did I really really do nothing wrong to get scoliosis? I did not worsen it not even any little bit?
  • @Arctic... I think a therapist would be able to help you sort through the feelings you're having regarding your scoliosis. They could help you get rid of any guilt or doubts you're having.

    And yes, you really did nothing wrong and did not contribute to your scoliosis or its worsening. Trust me. None of it is your fault.
  • @Arctic
    Are your parents trying to say that it's your fault?
  • @DeanD yes thank you. That's exactly what I wanted to know.
    @zozzie my mother is trying to assure me it's not my fault while my father does the opposite. He thinks it's my fault for having bad posture pr something. I don't take him seriously though he doesn't know a lot about this disease and many other things.
  • According to psychologists they diagnosed me with Asperger, Psychosis and Undifferentiated Schizophrenia. Not sure about the last one. I always thought I would be diagnosed with anxiety disorders and OCD. Maybe they made a mistake?
  • @Arctic... Here’s an article for you to read. Pay special attention to this passage:

    “And what about poor posture? The way a person stands or sits doesn’t affect their chances for scoliosis.”

    https://www.webmd.com/back-pain/causes-scoliosis#1

    Go easy on yourself, my friend. <3
  • @Arctic Yes, I agree. Go easy on yourself! And come here as often as you like.

    We are here for you
  • @Arctic Your scoliosis is not your fault. I read your posts to a friend of mine who happens to be a do to who specializes in scoliosis. He also teaches and belongs to a research team in one of the best hospitals in the U.S. So the best thing you can do for yourself is to try your best not to obsess about it, and remind yourself that noone is perfect and you don't have to try to be. All you have to do is remember you are a beautiful person just the way you are. The answer is you did NOT cause your scoliosis and you are NOT at fault for any of it. Now take a deep breath and relax and try to focus on the present and taking care of yourself without feeling guilt. And please do not try to diagnose yourself. Doctors have years of training and they are best able to help you. You will be fine.
  • I'm sorry @Arctic . The sentence was supposed to read a friend of mine who happens to be a DOCTOR.
  • @tiredmom nice of you to ask that and share!! :)
  • @Arctic Your mother is right, and you are right also, for taking your father's words lightly. Maybe he has trouble expressing his worry, or perhaps he doesn't understand the subject very well, but like plenty of people here have said, it's really not your fault.
  • Thanks for your post, @tiredmom. I hope it brings @Arctic some comfort. :)
  • Okay thank you all a lot. It helps me very much. :smiley:
  • No problem @DeanD . I think it was comfort that @Arctic needed the most. I'm glad to hear that you feel better and we could help. You don't have to worry about it or think about it anymore. Just relax and take care of yourself. Hoping the best for you.
  • @Arctic how are you? hope to hear back from you!
  • Yes I'm good. And you don't just say that I did nothing wrong to cheer me up? So I did not worsen my scoliosis not even any little bit by having had underweight and poor posture?
    Good if it is that way! :)
  • You did nothing to worsen it @Arctic, so you don't have to worry about that now. But I am glad you are cheered up. I hope you are having a good day.
  • Oh yees thank you all. I am actually having a good day. You helped me a lot and I also am currently finishing the last year in school. My grades are not the best (average) but good enough to pass the final exam. Which is what I have to learn for now. And then I will hopefully finally get my Abitur. ^_^
    Meanwhile I'm looking at funny raccoon videos on the internet. Anyway, I hope you are all having a great day too!
  • Great job on being in your last year of school. Good for you! I enjoy watching funny videos online myself. Anything that involves animals doing funny things brings a smile to my face. Glad you are enjoying your day.
  • @Arctic... I know it's not easy, but try to let any guilt you've been feeling about your scoliosis go. You didn't cause it. You didn't make it worse. Period. Get on with living your life to its fullest. And good luck to you in your last year of school! :sunglasses:
  • @Arctic i don't think any of us are saying it's not your fault just to make you feel good. it's truly what we think... and it's what your doctor knows!! i'd take it as truth and as dean says, get on with your life. :) ENJOY IT!
  • I believe you. Okay thanks for everything.
  • I am making real progress right now with my workout. This time I won't stop doing that until I'm satifsfied with results.
  • @Arctic very glad to hear this!!

    know that we are always here for you!
  • That's awesome, @Arctic! Keep it up! And happy Friday!!! :)
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