Just need someone to listen and understand

As a mom I've been watching my son go down and down each year with his Drug addiction. Up to now I've been coping but not lately, he's at his worst and I'm scared that if he doesn't get the help he needs we are going to lose him? I pray a lot and cry a lot too. I don't even know what drugs he's into at this time.? Think his choice of drugs has been changing?. Lately he looks so sickly, lost a lot of weight, is nauseous all the time so asks for a lot of gravol, could this be from not eating or is there something in gravol that can give a high? He has sores and is always scratching, has red eyes, relates that he isn't able to sleep, and looks very disconnected when we do see him? Apparently he has been to the hospital, but there is such a long line up because of the Covid19 crisis and its variants,, that he sits and waits and waits in a roomful of other people, and leaves before he can be seen by a doctor? We have gone all the avenues to try to give him advice and to help him, but no matter how gentle we try to approach the subject, I think he is taking it as a rebuke so he withdraws and we don't see him for a long time? What makes it worse, he never has a working phone and can't be reached, so we have to depend on him to make contact. or try to get someone else to find him to pass on any messages we have? Thanks for listening
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  • Thank you so much for sharing. Sorry to read about what you are going through, and sorry this forum is so quiet now ( it felt really helpful back when I needed support.) how are you doing? It’s been 2 months since this was posted.
    The not knowing if he’s okay and having no way to contact him can really affect one’s day to day life… I know it did for me with my ex. I realized that I was so caught up in his life, I wasn’t living mine. Addiction (as a loved one or the addict) is such a difficult thing to go through.
    There’s not really anyway to know what drug(s) your son is using… often many of the signs you mentioned are associated with stimulants but could also be opiates, could be a combination.
    I can understand why you are wondering, but I think it’s just causing you more pain because regardless what one’s he’s on, he still is struggling and you are suffering along there with him.
    Regarding Gravol, I hadn’t heard about it before and thought I’d do a quick search. In large doses, it can get someone high including causing hallucinations. Apparently it would usually take a minimum of 800mg (so 16 or more) to give this affect and a tolerance to it builds quickly.
    Do you guys have any services like telehealth or virtual Dr apps? We have one that used to be by Babylon. You can set up dr appts virtually and if you need to go in they have an office. Unfortunately I’ve only had a same day appt once, so that might hinder his being able to actually see one.
    I know it’s so difficult (I can’t imagine being a parent going through this). But what’s important here, is taking care of you. There’s really only so much you can do… he needs to want to stop… and you can’t be there for him if you aren’t looking after you, right?
    Do you go to meetings (NAR-Anon) or counselling? If not, I hope you will look into one or both.
    Sending you lots of love! I’ll try to remember to come on here more.
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