I tend to become antisocial.

Like the title says, I've noticed that in the past days, I didn't have enough motivation to hang out with my usual friends. It's an ineffable sensation I'm experiencing now, and I'm aware of it, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do to cure it. It might be simple laziness that occured due to stress at my workplace, but I've had worse problems to deal with before, so I'm going to exclude this possibility. 
What's even more odd, is that I can't look in the mirror anymore, having the same confidence and self-esteem; I can't even look people in their eyes. I must also mention that nobody hurt me in any way possible, neither verbally nor physically.
What's it to be done; any suggestions?
P.S. If you want me to give more details, I insist that you do so!
  • 22 Commentsby Likes|Date
  • Hi leftct

    I can relate to your post. I've read you comment on another post so I know your struggle is with drug addiction. I struggled with drug addiction some years ago. I have since then obstained from drugs but the underlined problems are still there which is why my new struggles are with alcohol. I find that every time I quit for a period of time I always start to isolate. I'm not sure if its a chemical imbalance my mind and body go thru trying to heal from not having a substance in my system or if I'm just not sure who I am when I'm sober. Maybe both. I tend to get way more friendly when I'm under the influence. Sometimes it's hard to get out of bed in the mornings and function. I start to feel sorry for myself and then I realize that I don't like me very much. What I found that helps me with this (now that I know I do it) is; I force myself to get up and get out and do something. It's not always Easy but it does help. I do things for myself like paint my nails. Do makeup. I take the kids to a movie or out for ice cream. Every day it gets alittle easier and I enjoy myself alittle more. I recently started working out and going for walks and bike rides. I find that these activities are very healing for my soul. Some days are still harder then others but it has gotten better. Just knowing we are not alone in our struggles is is a big help. Best wishes for you and I really hope this helps. Thank you for sharing.
  • I would say that you should talk to your friends about that and make sure that they understand that this is just something that you are currently going through. Make them see that you are not trying to blow them off or be rude to them. I am sorry that you are dealing with this.
  • @sue Thank you for your caring comment!
    Yes, indeed, I struggle with drug addiction, well not that much today as I used in the past, but I can definitely say that it doesn't interfere that much, or not even at all, with my social life. I keep it only for me, more concisely. So I don't think that should be the problem. However, it's been a while since I posted this thread, and I must say that now I feel much better and can conversate a little bit more. Things go smooth.

    @AtlantaSports I have, but they're not as understandable as expected. They think I have something to hide. I do hide my now-not-so-influent drug addiction, but it isn't something that concerns them personally. Like I've told sue, I keep it to myself.
  • I tend to want to hide away from everybody from time to time. Usually I'm a fairly out going person but just lately this has been happening more and more.

    Its all to easy to get into a cycle and before I know it, days have gone by and I've not seen anybody. Of course, the longer it goes on, the harder it is to socialise again.
  • I also have an antisocial personality. I don't really like meeting new people, going out to parties or any other social event. I like isolating myself from the society. But I have a small group of friends who never fail to give me support. They helped me a lot deal with life. 
  • I can relate to this very much. I don't understand how sometimes I am this super antisocial person who only wants to walk and eat alone, feeling like any company would bother the heck out of me. But then there are also times when all I want to do is hang out with my friends and go out on parties. I am torn between these two personalities all the time. I don't know what this condition is or if it exists. I'm not exactly bipolar or anything close to that.
  • I can relate to this very much. I don't understand how sometimes I am this super antisocial person who only wants to walk and eat alone, feeling like any company would bother the heck out of me. But then there are also times when all I want to do is hang out with my friends and go out on parties. I am torn between these two personalities all the time. I don't know what this condition is or if it exists. I'm not exactly bipolar or anything close to that.
  • I’ve never been the most outgoing person, and I usually find peace in solitude. But there are times it bothers me that I am so solitary. And it’s not so much that I’d like to go out all the time and be around people constantly, I kind of just want the option to hang around a few people now and then, but it’s hard making the effort sometimes. In general, people don’t make me as nervous as they used to, so I think it may be more that I’m coming out of a phase of not really wanting to be seen for one reason or another. I suspect I’m still slightly embarrassed about certain personal situations. But I’m working on letting that go, and I intend to put myself out there more when I have better means.
  • I've also experienced this in the past months. I just didn't feel like getting out of the house under no circumstance. But I also missed my friends, and felt lazy and kind of depressed. I invited a friend over, so I could feel more comfortable, and then I realized how much I missed spending time with people I love, and started going out again. You can try this as well and see if it works for you too.
  • Don't confuse being anti-social or having an anti-social personality with Anti-Social Personality Disorder. The name of that diagnosis is very misleading. A person who is diagnosed with Anti-Social Personality is officially a psychopath/sociopath - essentially, someone who has no conscience, remorse, shame or guilt. Clearly, you DO have those traits so this is not a case of having a personality disorder. It seems to me that this may just be insecurities and self-esteem/self-worth and confidence issues which may be a result of substance use.
  • Well, I don't consider myself an antisocial person because as another user mentioned this term has to do with people with psychopath/sociopath traits. But definitely I'm not an outgoing person, I'm really shy when I'm around people that I don't feel comfortable with and it's really stressing for me to know new people, but in trying to deal with it because at the end of the day it's part of life.
  • I've been dealing with this type of behavior within myself all my life and at some point I also wondered and told myself that I wasn't hurt by anyone in particular which was why it was confusing to me, but after a few more years I started to recognize that a lot of it has come from my family even if I never faulted them for it. I just continued to make excuses for them, saying that they were just doing what they thought was right, but now I recognize that I should be more honest with myself and admit that they were just more concerned with themselves rather than me even though it seemed like it for a time. My advice would be to be more discerning and mindful, as sometimes we don't recognize the faults so we never get to the core of the problem at the expense of mere politeness.
  • Are your friends constantly hitting you up to hang out with them? Not all of us enjoy being around others at all times, some of us need time to ourselves to recharge so to speak. If some of your friends are wanting to hang out with you too often, it's perfectly normal for you to become a bit exhausted if you're not a clingy person, but rather someone who needs their "me" time as well. Some of my friends are the other way around, and lose their minds if they are alone with themselves for more than a few minutes. They have to be talking and hanging around someone or a group of people at all times. 

    The not being able to look in the mirror thing may be a more serious self esteem problem. Has there been any changes in your diet, gaining/losing too much weight to the point of being uncomfortable with yourself? Or perhaps something work related where maybe someone else got promoted over you? Boss coming down hard on you?
  • @leftct, I can definitely relate to your problem. In my twenties, I loved being alone too. I just felt so drained after spending time in the company of others. I also sometimes feel "less than" when I'm around my friends, because they all seem to be coping well with adulthood while I'm not. However, as I'm about to enter my 30s, I realize that I'm shortchanging myself by cutting myself off from the rest of the world. I love my friends, and they love me and would never judge me or make me feel inferior. So I should try to not let my issues get in the way of what little time we all can spare for each other every year.
    That being said, I totally understand if it's still a struggle for you, because it really is. Take your time, take baby steps, and open up to a few of your friends. I'm sure they'll be more than glad to offer you support.
  • From the sound of your posts  there is a huge chance you might suffer from depression.  I had the same thing happen to me when I was dealing with depression.  You should really get some help with that :( 
  • I can relate to your condition. When I was in teens I felt same. My father thought that I have some psychological disorder.He took me to a psychiatrist. After hearing my story the doctor said to my father, "you son is absolutely fine, he does not have any antisocial tendency, he has too much negetivity and this needs a cure." I believe your condition is same. 
  • To me, it sounds a like maybe you are going through a depressive episode which makes you not want to do what you would normally do or hang out with your friends. It is a shame that your friends are not being more supportive towards you and assuming you have something to hide. Even if you do have something to hide that is your business not theirs and they should not be the ones to judge you. They need to support you in your time to need. However, if they have never went through what you have then it is a little understandable that they are having a hard time relating to your current situation. Regardless, they need to try to help you. I am sorry that you are feeling this way and wish there were more to do for you. Hang in there.
  • If this is the first time this happens to you I would consider depression as a possible diagnosis. You should try to workout a little bit, exercise might make a huge impact in the way you are feeling right now. Try going for a walk and see how you respond to that, maybe you are just a little bit depressed, it happens to me specifically when I stop exercicing.
  • I was also going to recommend exercise. It's simply one of the best ways to treat slides into depression. Joining a gym is especially good, because then you're around other like-minded people.

    You may also need to break out of your comfort zone a bit, go out to a coffee shop or bar and socialize. It's not easy, I've done it, but you'd be surprised at how sociable people can be if you just put yourself out there a bit.
  • I tend to become antisocial too, but I have to remind myself to get outside for at least an hour a day. I can stay in my room for hours on end and not have to talk or see anyone. I like it that way, but I make sure to get some sunshine and fresh air for my own sanity. 
  • It's hard to provide a proper diagnosis because there are too few details about you. For example, if you are female, the hormonal fluctuation brought about by your monthly flux triggers emotional outbursts that may cause you to become antisocial for no clear reason. If you are male, then it may have something to do with boredom or the lack of something new to stimulate your senses.
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