The destructive wanna be somebody else

Until about two years ago I was very disappointed about who I was, always tried to be somebody else and this might seem stupid, but I usually got the inspiration from characters in movies and tv shows, these thoughts caused me so much trouble in my studies and personal life and I regret why I couldn't get out of that phase sooner...although those horrible thoughts still come to me from time to time, but I learned the fact that I should be myself and try to add good habits and evaluate to a better person, someone who can take care of himself in all aspects, someone pleasant and fun to talk to and be friends with and at the end someone who takes care of his family and his group of friends...

What's your thoughts on this? Did anyone had a similar situation? 
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  • I have not personally but you know what they say....you cannot love anyone until you learn to love yourself. Sounds like you are going to be just fine now. 
  • Happened to me when I was a child, and did not like my name, rather wanting to sport a famous singer name, and then later through my teen years blaming my surname for being uncommon, driving attention to me in a stage I wouldn't like to drive any attention.

    In this latter stage, I started to live in a dream world at which I was friend with rock stars that accepted me without being scared or feeling overwhelming for having a friend with a surname like mine... a waste of time that built fake patterns of thought that affected the beginning of my adult life.

    However I never approached to help group nor received medical attention, it was simply accepting myself as the person I am, with my name and surname, successes and failures, addiction and recovery. 

    Today I'm happy to be who I am and the way I am, but always willing to change some if that contributes to be a better person, but not to be like another one.

  • I did it when I was a teen, I wanted so desperately to be someone else that I actually tried it and got in trouble thanks to that.  Just to remember all the stupid things I did as a teen while I was petending to be someone else.  I feel kinda stupid, but I have learnt a lot thanks to those experiences, so it's actually ok :)  I now stay true to myself and I feel happy with who I am.
  • i haven't tried to be someone else, but i did wear a mask for much of my life so no one would get close to knowing the real me...which i thought was not enough...

    turns out I AM ENOUGH...exactly as i am! :) took that mask off and do my best to keep it off and simply be me...flawed and beautiful at the same time.

    yes, it does sound like you will be just fine!
  • I desperately wanted to be someone else when I was younger, and I think I’ve still got an element or two of this. I go by a different name online than my legal name, and I do plan to change it legally to my pen name. It’s just that something always comes up… plus it’s a hassle, haha. Anyway, part of the reason for this was wanting to distance myself from my roots, and from a name that I always associated with so much failure and despair. It was as if I thought giving myself a new name would rid me of all my issues, all my failures, so I could go forth and live an awesome life.

    Pro tip: It doesn’t work that way.

    I’ve failed plenty already under my pen name. I’ve still got anxiety and depression issues. So now I’ve decided, I’ll own them. It’s not about what name I go by anymore, now it’s about my owning the issues, the failures, the past, the present, and whatever the future may bring. And remembering that I can still be awesome and live an awesome life no matter what.
  • I was also kind of a self-destructive person before. I would seclude myself and think of terrible thoughts. But yeah, I have now realized that doing these things would never solve anything, so I decided to open up more to my family and closest friends. And so far, my life is going pretty great.
  • I absolutely relate to what you're talking about. I still have the terrible habit of comparing myself to others and beating myself for not being good enough. I always feel like I'm the worst and completely worthless.
    I would love to switch identities and personalities depending on person I was talking to at the moment, so nobody would know me at all, just the idealized version of myself that I presented to them. 
  • I can relate... I tried to be someone else a few years ago just to fit in society and to fit in other people's expectations about me, it worked at first but it was terrible to me, I got depressed for about two years and it just was so miserable... I decided that I wanted to change and stay true to myself and let me tell you that it was/is one of the most painful and difficult things to do but I have no other options, and for now I'm looking forward to my future, I just hope it's bright.
  • I have been in a similar thought process and I think it was mostly just that I didn't know myself enough. I don't think it's necessarily our fault completely because I don't think the previous generations really did that much to encourage it since it was never encouraged in them as well probably, which is a bit strange to me since the lesson of knowing yourself has been around for ages but I suppose somewhere along the way people lost track of it.
  • There are certain times one does not feel good enough or does not fit into society, leading us to act differently. It actually does destroy the real us when the society accepts this personality that isn't us.

    As humans, we must learn to love ourselves and accept ourselves before others would. If they don't, then they are not the ideal people to usher into our lives.
  • I had these phases too and to be honest I still have some people who I admire and unconsciously take on their character from time to time. I don't think it short changes who I really am, however. I think in many instances it bolsters my reality in reminding of the person I really want to be. Many times when I'm working with people and i have difficulty connecting I reflect on Bill Clinton and take on his way of keeping eye contact and laying a gentle hand on the shoulder. Sometimes i surprise myself with my compassionate voice as I reflect on how genuine Oprah sounds when she is reaching out to people hurting on her show. This is who I want to be and I take on these roles to enhance myself. I don't think doing this is a bad thing at all.
  • I think it is a normal phase that people go through for one reason or another. To be someone else is an enticing thought as you want to change your life into something different or better than you think your own life is. I can understand this as it happened to me in my teenage years. I was not popular and I used to make up a fantasy life for myself and would make up whole new parts of my life and live in different places and be friends with famous people (usually people from my favorite bands). I never told anyone about this but it helped me get through some tough times in junior high and part of high school. I guess I grew out of it and was not able to fantasize like that anymore.
    I think there comes a time in your life when you finally accept who and what you are. It comes at different times for different people. You just have to be happy with who you are and to love yourself knowing that you are a good person.
  • I have known destructive people that don't want to be somebody else so I'm not sure the topic title is always or even usually true. I can see how it may apply to your situation and I think I understand you though.
    I'm glad that you have learned to cope with this and seem to be doing better.
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