Why does rape cause a huge trauma to the victim?

dominica

@bonzer this is a big topic. rape causes extreme trauma because it is traumatic. extremely fearful. invading. repulsive. and so much more. it leaves a very real imprint on the brain. it is important that those that are raped talk about it or write about it...the getting it out helps release some of the grief and pain carried.  

how do we support them? we love them unconditionally. we never judge and we don't try to "fix" them. it is their journey and their process....in their own time they will (or won't) heal from the trauma.  it will require some inner work. counseling and other modes of healing help a lot.

i am not a rape specialist and only know one person who has been raped.  to help her, i simply listen and lavish love on her.  

i'm not sure what else to say. it is the person who has been raped that will have to do the necessary inner work for healing...

i do hope others chime in here on this topic.

bellejoie

Well, I think it depends on the people. As far as I'm concerned, there is not one fix-all solution -- we can be mindful and try to make sure that they don't have to be in situations where their trauma will come out; we can listen as much as needed, and ask them how they would like to be treated. I know many of them don't like to be always seen as "victims" -- like, sure, they were a victim of a crime, but it's not their identity, and now they are survivors, and the pity is unwelcomed and unhelpful. But like I say -- even if some considerations are basic, it depends from person to person, and the same person may need or want different things/treatment/attitude at different stages. Let's just be attentive, mindful and caring until we know for sure what someone needs from us.

AtlantaSports

It is the sheer fact of you being forced to do something that you do not want to do. It is being invaded and having something that should not be touched be invaded. There are so many reasons why it is traumatic.

karmaskeeper

I saw on 20/20 last night about a girl being raped, and violated. This young lady had gotten so drunk she couldn't even remember any of it happening. In fact had it not been for cameras this may have gone unreported. She was shown the video of herself being carried into the building. These guys all did sexual things to her as she was passed out. They sent pics, videos etc...to friends. I know this girl is forever changed in a bad way her trust was betrayed because she never thought this man would do this to her.

Bonzer

Thanks to everyone who responded to this thread. What surprises me though is, even though the society acknowledges the crime, it doesn't welcome the victim into its fold and attaches a certain degree of taboo and apathy.

Every woman deserves her right to modesty, dignity, and self-respect. 

hope18

As we grow we learn to respect others most important ourselves. We go through life finding a soul mate or a certain relationship where you can trust and grow together. As you two grow, you build more relationships. Almost like a pyramid. Well, when you work so hard to build that respect for yourself and it gets violated, meaning your integrity, your pride, and self respect. When these get broken or torn etc, (raped, sexually assaulted) than you get misguided. Depending on the severity of the event, sometimes you never become yourself again. You live your life always looking back when you are walking or, double checking the lock on the door before bed. You live in fear because you have to rebuild that respect and trust for yourself and others. I was sexually assaulted in college. And I never did anything about it because I feared for the consequences that could result. I was also in an abusive relationship where my boyfriend at the time was raping me. And that is a question others ask ?
" if your in a relationship or married, and you say no to sex, can it still be rape"
The answer is 100% correct, it is considered rape regardless your marital status. If you say no from the start than its rape or sexual assault. If your under the influence and you encounter a situation and you don't recall it the next day, it's rape.
I think that's where the trauma hits, when we lose that sense of protection and control for our body in that disruptive moment. It's sad, because it takes years to build everything we made ourselves to be, and it only takes a few minutes to lose it. But, finding that strength again could never exist because of the trauma and we need to remind ourselves that we are not alone. We will find strength again to learn from it and move on. Maybe never forgetting but taking it as a something that made you stronger even though it will take time to realize.

jessiejay

It is very traumatizing for rape victims.  I know a lot of people that was molested and raped years ago and til this day still can't come to terms with it and have random outbreaks of tears when something triggers it.  It can be a movie or just someone talking about a personal subject.  It affects them for years beyond the incident.

yeppeo

I believe the fact that the aggressor violates what they have most private- the bodies of the victims- is enough to trigger a reaction; and I'm not even talking about the violence that such act comes with. It's normal people get affected by something so huge as to lose their own "control" over what they want to do with their body.

vinaya

There is no doubt that rape is painful for the body as well as mind. Since force is applied, body is hurt, thus, it pains. Mind suffers pain because of some stigma and taboo associated with sex. This is because the victim begins to associate rape with curse.

vegito12

I think also it can be due to justice takes a long time for the victim and in some cases, the person who did the crime does not get jail time and sometimes the family and friends blame the victim. The trauma and emotional stress is there for the victim as they feel they could not protect themselves, and feel like they are to blame when it was not their fault in the first place. It can be something which they never recover from and it is always there in the back off the mind and hope that victims of this crime get support and justice.