Watching A Slow Death

I watch in horror as my older brother slowly kills himself with alcohol. This is so sad how I wish I could take him by the hand, and lead him out of his hell. I know one thing for sure no one can help a person that doesn't want it. I know the day will come when I will have to bury him. I just keep my distance because I can't stand to see him like he is now.
Do any of you have a similar story? If so how do you deal with it?
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  • @karmaskeeper hi there and welcome to the forum.  i'm sorry to hear about your brother. it is very difficult to watch a loved one hurt themselves from addiction.

    there isn't a whole lot we can do. how do i deal with it?  i do have family members that drink more than they should...what i do is let them know that i am concerned and i wish they would go get some help for their addiction. i also love them unconditionally. i lavish love on them.  i don't know if alcohol will kill my loved one, but i do know that they need love. 

    have you had a real heart to heart with your brother? that's really all you can do and express your genuine concern and wish for him to get some help. there are many avenues to recovery...12 step groups, rehabs, counseling, ect.

    i do wish the best for you and your brother.
  • Thank you, and We have all tried to talk with him. It's really no use at this point. I to was once there, and I know until a person is ready all the talking in the world isn't going to help. Maybe one day he will have a total rock bottom, and finally seek some help.
  • @karmaskeeper... @dominica offered some excellent advice. I'm so sorry that your brother hasn't responded to the talks from his family. I suppose an intervention is always a last resort. If his drinking is as bad as you suggest, you may want to consider that.

    I will keep you and your family--especially your brother--in my thoughts and prayers. When someone we love has a substance abuse problem, it makes life very difficult. The important thing to remember is that you need to take care of YOU. Like you said: You can't help your brother if he doesn't want it.

    Thanks for sharing with us. I know it probably wasn't easy. We are here to support and help you in any way we can.
  • @DeanD Thanks for the kind words of support. Yes it is extremely hard to feel helpless when someone you love is suffering. if it were cancer or any other illness as hard as that would be. It still would be easier to cope with. I know where that place is I was there myself for years. Making a change is very scary most often the person feels as if it's not possible to get sober. This was me for years, however I finally took that leap of faith. Almost 5 years sober now, and loving it.
  • I'm sorry to hear about your story, I really hope that things get better. I have a similar history with my uncle, he drink a lot and don't really understand or want to understand that alcohol is killing him, we've talked to him, taking him to therapy but nothing really seems to work, as you've said we can't force a person to change if they don't want to.
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