How to Stop Watching Porn Please Help????

Okay so I'm a 20 year old guy in college. Well the thing is I've been single for a long time so I've had a ton of free time on my hands. Well (I say well a lot sorry) I started to watch porn. It was fine at first just the normal stuff that I usually watch like straight stuff. Well the thing is it's gotten really dark and I've hit rock bottom on it. I masturbate up to 5 maybe even 6 times a day and the thing is the regular normal stuff doesn't get me off anymore. Now it's gay porn that I need to get me off. What bothers me is I know I'm not gay but now I have all these crazy, weird fantasies that I've never had before. It's even gotten so bad that I started looking at craigslist ads when I was on my sex high. In the middle of one fantasy I actually posted an ad on craigslist. Of course once I relieved myself the fantasy instantly went away and I took down the post but then immediately came the "guilty what the hell am I doing" feelings. I feel so dirty and ashamed because I know I'm not gay and I know that this is wrong but I can't stop. I decided today that I was going to go cold turkey and not watch porn. Well like literally an hour later I was back on the fantasy high again and then the fantasy low when I was done relieving myself. What really bugs me is I've loved women since I was 6 I have never wanted to be with a man nor do I have any desire to pursue a romantic, loving, relationship with man. I've always loved women since I was 6  but because of my "porn highs" I have all these fantasies because regular, vanilla porn isn't satisfying my urge anymore. Please help How can I stop watching porn. P.S. I read a report called "Can you trust your Johnson" and it described exactly what I am going thru. Porn has begun to rewire certain aspects of my brain to give me a better dopamine high. Anyhow I really want this to stop I want my life back and I want to go back to loving women. I want to go back to the day where you could show me just a small amount of cleavage on the tv and boom I was ready to go. I don't like that I need all this fake and hardcore stuff to get me off. Especially when I know for 100% fact I am not into that.
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  • @CapMalReynolds... Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing.

    As an older guy (early 50s), I can remember when I was a kid and the only "porn" around was my dad's Playboy magazines. And later Penthouse. That stuff was scandalous back then. Now, you can just sit at your computer and watch anything you can possibly imagine. I can see why a lot of people are getting addicted to watching porn. It's available to them anytime they want it! I think maybe a little bit of porn is fine...maybe even healthy. But it sounds like you've crossed over that line. If you think you have a problem, you do. So it's a good thing that you're talking about it.

    As far as the fantasies go, I wouldn't get too hung up on that. I think sexual fantasies--even if they're a bit "crazy" or "weird"--are perfectly normal. Lots of people have bizarre fantasies. If you start acting on them, then I would be concerned.

    The best way to address your problem may be to talk to a counselor. An addiction is an addiction, and you should go about recovery the same way someone who is addicted to drugs would: counseling, support groups, etc. 

    I found this article online and found it interesting. You may, too. 


    I'm hoping some other forum members who have dealt with this issue will weigh in here. Thanks again for sharing. We're here to support you and help you any way we can.



  • wow, that sounds really rough. I've never had this particular problem, so my advice would be pretty useless. But its great that you came here, and shared your story with us.
  • Thank you for sharing your story! I may not be able to help you since I'm not that experienced in the subject but I had a porn problem too. It went away by herself so just try and not sweat it too much. Your fantasies are just some weird things, as long as you know you're not gay then you're not gay so you shouldn't feel ashamed.
    Good luck, and listen to @DeanD! He gave you some great advice.
  • Porn addiction may affect your real-life sexual life, so it's better try to stop it and move on.

    I would recommend these two reading to find tips on how to overcome porn addiction and cure:

  • Wow, I'm really sorry for you my brother, but my advice is you have to find a way to stop this Gay things first, because the first step of being gay is always like that, how you should stop those gay stuff? it's not that easy but you have to try your self, you have to find a girl, You Have Too bro, it doesn't matter if she is beautiful or not, it doesn't really matter, you need here to keep you busy, so you can start thinking about women again and not gay anymore, the next thing is you should not stay alone bro, try to be with your friends all the time even if you feel your self really "horney" and need to watch porn don't go ! you have to fight your self and in the end I'm sure you'll get over it :) good luck dude
  • The trouble with porn is that it is always around - and most of the time you can manage it.  But in moments of weakness you give in.  I've been there, and now I'm out, though I still need to be careful.  Delete anything you have stored.  Install a parental control app.  Block yourself  from accessing by changing the password to something unmemorable then lock it away for a set period.  I lockedmy password away for two weeks at a time, here - JustGetOn.com - and now I have been clean
    for 4 months nearly. Good luck to you :)
  • In addition to the links that MyRecoveryPoint provided you can find a bunch of other helpful sex and porn addiction recovery resources at: http://www.mymensgroup.net/addiction-recovery-resources.html

    It really comes down to greed in my mind. Addiction is all about greed. I'm going to numb underlying issues I have on my terms, by myself, when I want and how I want. I'm going to self-medicate with porn, lust, masturbation, affairs, anonymous sex, food, whatever. It's all about dealing with it all by myself though. It feels safe, no risk of rejection, easier than interacting with someone face to face in a healthy and appropriate relationship, etc.

    I found the key to recovery is getting at the underlying issues and root causes (for me the biggies were rejection, shame, perfectionism, lack of self-compassion, fear, etc.) where I tend to want to self-medicate or employ coping mechanisms (porn, masturbation, affairs, cyber sex, lust, etc.). While working through those underlying issues (a counselor or trained therapist is probably your best bet to help you do that) you also need to retrain your brain to turn to appropriate and healthy ways of interacting with real people. Right now your neural pathways have been established and produce rewards in the pleasure center of the brain (release of dopamine)from inappropriate actions. You need a reboot. A detox. Then as you interact with a support network of safe men that are real and open and honest who will listen to you as you cry out when in pain or need you will build new pathways. Instead of going online to soothe in those times I found you need to reach out and be vulnerable with another human being (and not someone anonymous online).

    As you work at forging real, healthy and authentic relationships you can slowly create a new habit to replace the old inappropriate way of coping. Will it take time? Yes. Will you stumble and fall? Unfortunately, that is more than likely. I lead a men's support and accountability group and it happens to the best of us. But, if you do fall down think of it like a cross country match. If you fall down on the course they don't make you go back to the starting line and begin the race all over again. You simply get up where you are, dust off and keep on going. The mantra for all of us in recovery is this. It's about progress. Not perfection.

    For the support group I lead we put together a website of all the materials that we share each week as discussion starters. There are tons of great book and article excerpts, links and even videos on there that you might find useful on your journey. They are the things that our group has found the most beneficial in the recovery process.

    If you want to check it out it's at http://www.mymensgroup.net

    Blessings to you on this road to recovery!

    Blessings to you as you seek to reboot your brain, heal, grow and ultimately recover!

  • @CapMalReynolds
    hey there! just reading this post and glad you reached out for help...lots of great advice here!

    how are you doing? i hope you are doing better and taking some time to read up on these posts and information given.

    check in when you get a chance. we'd love to hear from you!
  • @CapMalReynolds... I hope that some of the advice people have shared with you has been helpful. We're always here if you need us.
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