Avoidant Personality Disorder

Do you know anyone who suffers with or have you known anyone who suffered with this disorder? I actually recognized some of the symptoms in myself many years ago, although I have managed to overcome any and all issues that I have had in my life. I think this is very closely related to Dependent Personality Disorder. Basically, avoidants feel inadequate, sensitive and are overly sensitive and self-conscious about what other people think about them. For this reason, they will generally avoid people and certain social situations and often end up isolating themselves.
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  • Yes!!!! This is me right now. I don't know why I tend to avoid social situations. It's not that I don't like hanging out with my friends, I do actually. I just have this certain avoidant feeling in me and I end up being alone all the time. I mean it's fine, really. I guess Im used to it. But sometimes the hard part comes in when I see my friends and it becomes a little awkward. It's like there's a wall in front of us that's slowly being built up.
  • I can understand what you mean. You might find it a little difficult to trust people and open or perhaps just feel self-conscious around them, maybe overly concerned with their perception of you. I do think that this is mainly more to do with self-esteem and self-worth issues more than anything else. It's almost like a pathological form of social anxiety.
  • I'm so happy to hear that you've managed to overcome the avoidant personality disorder. I've developed it thanks to years of bullying. Could you please tell me how you've managed to get better? I know that I have to take baby steps, but it's so hard to even start opening up. 
  • @Elfprincess
    That's the thing about Avoidant Personality Disorder. You end up avoiding the people, places and situations that can actually help you. For me, it was a journey of self-education in human psychology and behaviour. I had always been interested in the human mind and we all know that the human mind is the most powerful thing we know of. I wanted to learn how to use that potential. The one topic you may want to learn more about which may help you is NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). It's basically just a collection of psychological techniques which can help you overcome fears, phobias, addiction, help you quit smoking, change your behaviour, etc. There are also many other useful psychological techniques that are not included in NLP.
  • Well, I could somehow relate to this case. However, I don't really avoid people because I am afraid of being judged, but because I am just really antisocial, and don't like talking to other people that much. 
    Anyway, it's good to hear that you have finally managed this personality disorder. Kudos to you! ;)
  • I know a few people with this kind of personality disorder. In fact, one of the worst cases I've met lives in our house. He's resorted to constantly invoking Bible verses and watching conspiracy videos in an attempt to cover up his insecurities and protect himself. It's hard to put him anywhere. In his workplace, at home, amongst relatives, in crowded places - he can't seem to feel at ease because he always thinks someone's talking behind his back or jeering at him. There's more to his situation than meets the eye and I just hope we can get the right kind of help. Family members are currently doing their best not to aggravate his condition by showing him every form of love, care and understanding. Your situation is relatively more manageable and it's a blessing you were able to overcome it.
  • I have never heard of it until now, thanks for sharing.
    I can relate a lot with this... I don't really feel comfortable with myself right now and sometimes I'm avoiding social events and people who aren't really close to me and don't know what's going on and how to treat me... I really need to change that because there will be a point in my life were I finally feel comfortable with myself and I won't really know how to manage social situations anymore...
  • I think I have a bit of this myself and I attribute a lot of it to how I was brought up. Growing up I was taken care of and I do appreciate it but there were a lot of methods used that I now recognize as something I don't agree with in the slightest, and seeing how the same patterns are being applied to my nephews really gets to me which is why I often try to point it out to my siblings whenever I catch any of these traits surfacing in them and thankfully it seems like it is working.
  • I suffer from this. I haven't even felt the need to talk about it with my shrink, cause I doubt that he could help me in any way (he can only prescribe me more drugs). The moment I've read about APD everything about me made sens, the same way that when I've read about borderline personality disorder. I don't know if I would still qualify for the second one, but between theages of 13-20 years old I've been acting in full-blown borderline way... Now my avoidant tendencies have taken over, and I'm so isolated that I'm incapable of having a favourite person.
    I'm 100% sure that I'm a fucked up mess of a girl, and sometimes I think that an unsalvageable one at that.
  • This is me throughout my whole life. I will avoid anything and everything that causes me to have high anxiety. I believe I have missed out on a lot of things during my life because I chose to avoid them instead of facing my fear and anxiety. There was a time in my life when I had a little bit more confidence and did activities that I would normally not do. Being a single parent does help in some cases because there are things to do and places to go that relates to their needs. 

    @Elfprincess I am sorry that you feel that way but no one is unsalvageable including yourself. You have to want to be salvaged and be the first one to initiate the process. I know this is hard since I have a hard time sometimes but I know that if I do not push myself forwards and do things that cause my physical anxiety and mental anxiety then I will be lost. I hope you can find a way out of your "mess" and are able to find your favorite person.
  • I too, can relate to several characteristics of this disorder. I think my avoidance can be related to having the wrong people around. I avoid some social situations because it's so boring for me to spend time with most of the people I know (I don't know too many people, and if I eventually meet someone , it's because he/she is an acquaintance of my girlfriend or some one else...). One must find people with related interests, goals and hobbies to be able to really enjoy the company.
  • @morgoodle Thank you for the heads up. I wish that I wasn't so horrified of being rejected, or dependent on someone. My main problem is the fact that I feel like talking first to someone costs me so much that there's no chance that it's worth taking the risk. 
    I'm avoid both the people I hate and I'm interested in because of this.
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