Worried about recent ex--Borderline?

Well, I don't know if I should even call Caleb an ex because we only dated for two weeks. He is 24, drug addict for 10 years, and needless to say, has dealt with the usual package--unsteady job history, has mostly lived with his mother, time behind bars, and unstable relationships with most people.
Maybe I am looking into it too much, but I feel there is something more to it than addiction, depression, and anxiety. Not 2 days after we met, he was telling me he loved me, wanted to run away with me, and already seemed truly concerned about me leaving him. Like I said earlier, it only lasted a few weeks and I know as sure as the sky is blue I did nothing wrong. After two weeks, he disappeared for 5 days, then texted me to say "Let's just be friends because I am an addict and I dont't want to hurt you later on."
When he was 17, he was in Juvie for pulling a gun on a fellow teen just because he "made Caleb mad." Other issues I noticed were his telling me of other reckless behaviors in his past, and he shifts his religious beliefs more frequently than most people his age. I know his home life was chaos, and I also know he hates himself for everything.
I know the break up was probably for the best, but I am still concerned. My first guess was Borderline PD, but I am no expert, and I was not around him enough to assess this. I also realize alot of those issues are common in addiction too.
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  • @paradisekatathema hello and welcome. thanks for sharing!  it's probably a good thing you and him did end the relationship....sounds pretty toxic to me...might do him a world of good to commit to being single for a while...get himself together.  what are you worried about?  well, i suppose it's normal to be concerned for him...you care and that's great.

    but his life is his responsibility. i do hope he gets some help and commits to his recovery.  i also hope that you can let go and move on...as far as assessment, that's difficult to determine..but def he's got some issues to work out.
  • This sounds like drugs to me. Sure, he might have some mental problems that are shining through, but I'm willing to bet his drug addictions have either created them or amplified them. As Dominica said above, his life is his responsibility. He needs to figure out what to do with himself and comes to term with his addictions. It's not up to you to help him through this. It will tear you down more than you could ever imagine.
  • You never know, I also had the same tendency when I was younger and yes, sometimes it's drugs but sometimes is not. Sometimes you just can't find a better way to deal with things.  If I were you i'd just move on, it's obvious this guy is into something really bad and needs some time alone, at least he was decent enough to break it off instead of dragging you down.  I respect that. 
  • It sounds like borderline but you can't be sure until he gets a diagnosis. Borderline people tend to be childish and unestable when it comes to big decisions, and sometimes they are trying to live to the fullest, which can be actually dangerous... If this is the case of your ex, he should receive professional help to learn to know how to manage those difficult situations.
  • I am glad you were able to get out of the relationship early on. Nothing good would have come out of this relationship. He is dealing with a lot and he needs some type of professional help. I, too, respect he was man enough to end it with you and not drag you along with his problems. I can understand you being concerned.
  • He must have been acting under the influence of drugs with no stability which he needs and I'm certain he seeks. The best thing was not building a relationship but your concern for him is good. I hope he makes it out alive and clean.
  • It does sound like he isn't mentally sound. I know that during certain times when my medication is kicking in and I feel alone I try to reach out to people, but I also feel extremely clingy and prone to attachment. Sounds like this guy took it to the extreme.
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