People Person, yet reserved?

Is it possible for someone to be the life of the party but genuinely not like being around people?  Lord forgive me but I can only enjoy people for a short period of time.  Ive thought maybe it is because Im used to doing things by myself and for  myself.  Naturally, people tend to gravitate towards me and disclose personal details about their lives. I am honored to be that person that many confide in but at the end of the day my mind starts to bulge from the immense headache that has been triggered.  Not that listening to others and providing suggestions bothers me but I am the type that wants to fix it all.  Nothing is perfect and I can't fix it all, I know. Upon many situations, I find myself upset because I can't do anything and then begin to mediate on my life and concerns.  I am very reserved and do not talk to many about my situations, instead I just try and fix them.  Even though I'm dying inside, I enjoy being alone and not have too many around me trying to pry.  


Anyone else feel this way?  
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  • I think most people that are popular or have a personality will be pretty private people most of the time. Maybe it's that what attracts people in the first place?

    When I'm in public or out at a party I'll chat and have a laugh and a joke with everyone, and people tend to think I'm an outgoing sort of person. The truth is though I prefer to be alone most of the time and if I had the choice I'd probably not actually choose to speak to many people in normal situations.
  • @xls hello and welcome. i totally get where you are coming from. though i'm not the life of a party (cuz i choose to be reserved)...people love to talk to me and disclose much info. cuz they feel comfortable....you are not alone..you may be an introvert...and a healer..and an empath. if you do some research on empaths and introverts..you'll see yourself :)  it's a good thing..can be draining till you learn how to manage things...like staying away from energy vampires...and learning how to assist people...yet let go of trying to fix them...i think of myself as a lifeguard. i can jump in and save people...lead them to the edge and then let them go....on their own journey...not follow them around trying to fix or anything...just assist as necessary...

    also, introverts need time alone to recharge...you're super sensitive energetically....alone time is a must for me...and i'm not afraid to take it or let my partner know when i need it and vice versa....

    anyway, check out some readings on those topics..and embrace who you are... the world needs introverts :)  i wrote an article on introverts once...you may find it interesting: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/09/11-things-introverts-want-you-to-know-dominica-applegate/

    hope this helps!
  • Well, I have a friend who's pretty similar with your situation. She is always the life of the party, but she has admitted to us that she really doesn't like being around people that much. I don't know why, but yes, it's a difficult one to deal with. 

    As for me, I am more of an introvert person. And although I like going out with my friends, I sometimes prefer being alone. 
  • @dominica I love alone time. Ive often thought that I was an introvert but like you said when people like to naturally gravitate toward you, you start to wonder about your reactions.  

    I wonder if the way we have lived out our childhoods has anything to do with become introverts. 

    My whole family is full on introverts. lol 
  • I feel the same way. I love people, but can only tolerate being around them for short amounts of time. I stay to myself for the most part, which makes people think I am either stuck up or anti social. It drives me crazy that people see me this way, but I can't help who I am. I would prefer to talk to people online, which has allowed me to make some great friends, but also caused me to become addicted to the world of social media. I think that there are a ton of people who can relate to what you are going through, I am one of them. I am very well liked by my peers, but I turn down invite after invite due to not wanting to be around people. I am an introvert by nature, so I guess that has something to do with it as well. 
  • I believe that nothing's wrong with you, you're just introverted :)
    It doesn't mean that you hate people and love being alone (though many introverts do, it's sort of a stereotype, though) - it just means that when you talk with others, you give away your energy instead of receiving it and that's why you need to spend some time alone later in order to rest. 
    I can only imagine how tiring it must be when everyone wants to talk with you. 
  • I think that a lot of people who are the souls of the party feels the same way as you, sometimes we "pretend" to be something that we really aren't just to be accepted or give other people a certain concept about us, and I don't think that there's something bad about that, everyone does that in one point or another. But just try to don't drown in another's people problems, you can't fix everything and that's just fine, don't take it so serious.
    Good luck!
  • Yes this is possible. I have had phases being this way and eventually I got tired and stopped putting up a facade. I think this may be similar to how Robin Williams was when he was still around. You'd always see him being so energetic and all along inside he was just masking emotions that he didn't understand how to convey.
  • I believe you're introverted just like I am! :)
    There's nothing wrong to be like that. I usually need to pretend that I enjoy going out and party, while I would prefer to be home reading most of the time. I guess I'm too afraid to lose my friends and that's why I put up with it... yet I don't see nothing wrong. Also, you need to internalize that you can't help everyone unfortunately, as thinking like you do now will only make you hurt.
  • I'm right there with you, @yeppeo. I'm a full-blown, card-carrying member of the introvert club. ;)
  • I like people, making new friends and enjoy others company but I value my alone moments over all these. I do better when I am alone; I can make decisions, think aloud, plan and meditate.

    It really is unhealthy not to have time alone as this can make you choked up with others views and personalities.
  • I am not necessarily a people person, but I do like to be around friends and family members. I do not go out of my way to be around a lot of people since I can only take it for a certain period of time. I also like to be alone, but sometimes I am alone for too long except when my kids are around. Sometimes, I just like to have adult company to have adult conversations with but I soon find it aggravating when I am around them for too long. I wish I could be one of those people who can be at a party and have a great time or some other social function, but I guess that is just not me.
  • You sound like a classic introvert. Im the same. People falsely assume introvert means shy, which it doesnt.
    Have you ever taken a personality test to figure out what type you are?
  • many introverts are a bit shy, but not all. but most are taken as being shy or even sometimes snobbish.
  • It may not really be a problem with you. Some people only want to talk about themselves and everything going on in their lives, and act as the rest of us are their captive audiences or something. It can be difficult in social situations to get these people to get themselves under control and realize other people have lives of their own too, and don't necessarily want to be burdened with all their personal problems 24/7. 

    I've had to cut some people out of my life, because it was the same thing over and over every time we hung out. They would spend several hours straight talking about themselves and crying over some former boyfriend/girlfriend, family issues, work problems and what not.
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