Ways of overcoming social anxiety

I've been told that I should just go and talk to people and get out of my comfort zone. I've been doing this for a few days but I haven't had much progress and still feel like shit. How do you guys deal with this disorder?
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  • Hello there, @hg088! I could somehow relate to your situation since I also have social anxiety. Well, going out and talking to people is always easier said than done. You cannot totally force interaction if you don't really feel like doing it. As for me, I just try to take things slowly. I would go out once in a while to meet new people, and try to talk to them.
  • I definitely think it's about getting more and more used to dealing with new people. I wouldn't say go out every night of the week and force yourself to socialize with new people (that would overwhelm anyone, I think!) but I do think it's important to keep at it. I find that for me personally, if I have had little to no social interaction for a while, it's so much harder to get into that socializing headspace than if I'm out and chatting to people regularly.
  • Hey there.. I think it does get easier the more you practice, but you have to practice the right mind set too. My social anxiety is because I care a lot about what people think about me. I have learned through meditation (I recommend Noah Elkrief's meditations on youtube, he has tons. Here's one on social anxiety - ) that people's opinions are just that - opinions, and just because they think certain opinions about me, doesn't mean they are right. These meditations have helped my anxiety and depression a lot. If these meditations don't work for you, I also recommend saying positive affirmations. I find that if I can channel my self-confidence, it makes my social anxiety easier to quiet. Hope this helps. Peace.
  • Reebeckuhh I'm just watching the video you posted now and I'm really finding a lot of good tips in it! Thanks for sharing!
  • @hg088 hello and welcome. good question. getting out of comfort zone can be helpful...the more you engage with others, the more comfortable you may become.  i think for me working on my self-esteem and confidence levels helps..at the same time, i'm pretty comfortable not forcing myself to go out and "do" a bunch of things with people. i'm an introvert. introverts (some) don't love to interact, esp with large groups.

    yes, meditation may help..and i think just life in general can help. as i grow older, i care way less what others think about me...i've gained some peace with me..where i am in life..who i am in life..

    check out videos. read books. right now i'm learning some interesting questions to ask people when i first meet them. sometimes i clam up...so, trying to have one or two questions readily available. 

    we'll see. 

    glad you are here!
  • I suffer from social anxiety and going grocery shopping always makes me feel very anxious, specially if the employees there start recognizing me and greeting me.  I have a problem recognizing faces,  so I am always afraid they might thing I didn't greet them on purpose, but in fact i can tell them apart.  So that makes me anxious, but I am learning not to worry about that kind of things.  You just need to start realizing that what others think of you doesn't matter. 
  • @dominica yes totally! The days when I've felt better are the ones that my self-esteem are decent, the problem is that rarely happens. I below average half of the population, and I've been under-achieving my whole life, in fact is getting worst lately. As you can imagine my self-esteem is pretty much non-existing. This is how I've developed social anxiety. It's pretty much justified since most people really think I'm garbage.
  • I have social anxiety sometimes in the sense where I have a way overdone conversation with someone even when I forgot to ask them their name. I always panic and stutter when trying to find passive ways to refer to them, and I feel sick on the inside when I ask for their name even if they tell me without having any problems. How can I overcome this?
  • I used to have crippling social anxiety myself and I feel like I'm doing better at getting over it. I realized that I cared too much about what people thought of me and I'd over analyze every conversation or comment until I became afraid to say or meet new people.

    I'm not on any medication, but I try to just be as relaxed and natural as I can be when I'm around new people, I'm sure most people feel a little anxious when meeting a new crowd, most of them are just really good at hiding it.
  • People that I have been friends with my entire life no longer speak to me. It's not me being antisocial...it's them! I worked so hard and was depressed over it for a long time, until I finally realized anyone who is a true friend sticks around through good and bad!!!! Things get better!
  • Social anxiety has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. I hate dealing with it and just wish it would go away. I do not like doing things that involve new people or places and probably could just become a hermit. My fear is that I will become agoraphobic because of my social anxiety. I have to keep pushing myself to go out of the house which some days are easier than others. I have children so that is a good motivator for me to go places and talk to people. I obsess over what people think of me and the conversations I have with them which makes me not want to ever have a conversation again. I always feel awkward around people and sometimes say the wrong thing. But I will keep trying. I wish you luck.
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