Narcissists Victim Syndrome - just like PTSD

This is very long read, but I know some people on here share my interest in NPD. I have been learning about this disorder, but a lot of what I have been reading focuses on the narc. This article describes more of what the victim encounters and how they perceive it. Reading it, my heart starting beating out of my chest.

It almost makes me wonder if I have some dissociative symptoms because of this. I know I certainly feel something similar to PTSD, but reading this article was so painful, I didn't want to relate and be reminded how much of this pertained to me. 

Have you heard of narcissists victim syndrome? 

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  • Yes I have heard of it. I read this paper. I think that it does not even begin to scratch the surface of the reality of what it is like for the victim. I think the danger is thinking a victim can just at some point disengage when they are devalued. This can not be further from the truth, especially if the victim was a secondary supply. The only way out literally is to pull up roots and disappear, easier said then done if there are children and assets involved, things of that nature. The narc seldom just lets anyone go for good, they will be back to suck you back in. You will sense it long before you actually know it for sure.

    This paper does not do justice to the lengths the narc will go to get other people involved to do their bidding. It is so surreal you can not even begin to imagine. They really have mastered making the victim appear to be the one that is nuts. I don't know if there is enough therapy in the world to help the victims, they are changed forever by the experience. I would think even if they could and would manage to pull up and make a break for it, there will always be a tendency to watch over their shoulder and be careful what they say to anyone least it all starts again. From what I have read it does seem to happen again, narc victims are like blood to vampires, other narcs seem to close in instinctively.

    My question is, when does the antics of the narc cross the line enough to be considered full out psychopathy?
  • @sunnydaze  good point that oftentimes you have to get up and out of the relationship and completely cut ties to get free. it's crazy. to me the dynamics are just so varied. i will take a look at that article. very interesting!

  • I agree you really have to break ties and cut yourself free.  And even if you are able to do that, you are still left with the aftermath to clean up and sort out in your head, if you are even able to figure out what happened to you. 

    My narc always tells me we need counseling to make our relationship work - which in narc language means I need someone to fix you to take orders from me better. 
  • It's not surprising that those living with narcs may experience something similar to PTSD. After all,they are going through a different kind of trauma. I see it as an "extended release" trauma if you will. A trauma that is slowly drip-fed over the years. 
  • I made it to page two and realized I nearly entered into a situation similar to what was described. It was coming on quickly and I needed to get out. I've long suspected I grew up with a malignant narcissist and now I’m wondering if it’s showing in my relationship patterns. I’m not sure I’ll be able to read the entire paper in one go as I’m still feeling a bit raw, but it really is a fascinating subject.
  • I have actually met people who ALMOST have the NPD... But not anyone who actually fit the bill. I really hope I never do. The people who came close but didnt quite fit, they made me uncomfortable. I hope if I ever run into the real deal I pick up on it's well.
  • Awesome read, it makes it easier to spot a narcissist person and understand how their victims feel.  Summed up so well! I think my future mother in law is a bit of a narc, from what I have seen.  She doesn't stand that anyone's views or thoughts oppose her in anyway.

    Even when you just express while talking to someone else she steps in and tries to prove you wrong.  I have no idea how her family stands her to be honest.  When I was in that house I felt like I wasn't free to express myself or what I thought, because i knew that woman would step in and start contradicting me.
  • both the narc and the victim have issues....i look at this type of relationship on a spectrum...extreme narcs usually end up with extremely insecure (or maybe they thought they were secure, but end up insecure)...there is opp for growth on each end, though narcs are usually unwilling to try to grow...

    good read though!
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