What are the signs of sex addiction?

I will be quite honest in this.  I am asking this on behalf of myself.  But I have always thought it was more of a mental problem I might have.  

As a kid I was sexually abused but as a kid my mind was innocent of the real nature of what was happening. I cannot say sex does not feel good because it does. But it's after the sex that brought me to hate my own body.  But it was a habit I couldn't break. I loved sex but hated the after.  

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  • I have felt this too. I think I was just using sex to numb the whatever was bothering me but afterwards once everything got calmer it never seemed like the most helpful method. I don't have much advice unfortunately other than channeling that reaction onto something healthier or more productive. I know a lot of bloggers on youtube also speak about their experiences with this subject so if you are looking for something more personal you can check for those as well.
  • I would have never have known this could be classified as an addiction. But it was something I did to in a way self harm I guess. Never felt better felt useless and felt like just giving in and giving up. At the time I felt I had nothing and no one left. So why not. But my prayers were answered and I was blessed with my daughter, who gave me a better insight in the world and the strength to accomplish everything and to turn my life around. What is hard is that my hubby can never ever really except me because of my awful past. I don't like to be falsified to anyone as something without a past. I wonder if I should have never have told him that.
  • It does not sound like an addiction to me but you need to begin to love yourself back. You must first express yourself in words, write about your past or sing about it and get it off your chest.

    Then, look yourself in the mirror, if possible, nude and tell yourself you are wonderful and beautiful. Constantly tell yourself that and never hate yourself; if you do, others will as well.
  • I wasn't really addicted to sex. But there was a time I was addicted to masturbation. I think sex/masturbation addiction is very similar to drug addiction because I tend to masturbate when I'm under stress, depressed or just bored
  • I am sure that there is some sort of correlation there between abuse experienced as a child and sex addiction, in the many forms that it has too.  I am nowhere near knowledgeable on the subject, but I have to say that it is good to have resources available for those who need help, because I do think that it is an issue that might not be as talked about as some others.
  • I had a boyfriend who was addicted to sexting random women online. He said a felt a sense of power because he was able to have me and then have this allure to hundreds of women online. I guess he wanted the attention. I think acting secretively is the first red flag.
  • @sillylucy interesting you say that as one of my friends is currently having an issue with this. Her husband cheated on her last year, but she took him back only to find that he has been sexting other women again! She's tried to get him to go to counseling but he doesn't want to, so she's at her wits end. It's hard as a friend to see her in the state she is in -- and they have 3 kids too!
  • It sounds to me more like you are having these issues due to the abuse you suffered as a child. I think a sex addict would not be able to control his desire for sex and would feel like he had to have it numerous times a day. This does not sound like what you are describing. However, getting counseling may help you understand why you feel so terrible about having sex after it is over.
  • Thanks for all the comments and for not judging me on this topic. One of my issues is that I always want to do the deed but for all the negative reasons. Sex has no meaning to me its just sex. But its something I constantly keep doing and when I dont have a partner I have urges to masterbate. I don't know if there is something wrong with me or not. I don't know if it because of what I went through when I was younger I am sure it probably plays a part especially the feeling of numb sex. If I had a partner I would be doing this everyday and if my partner would not give into me everyday I get very upset and moody. I wish someone had experience in this.
  • Hello @mommyaki ,
    I understand how much courage it takes to actually share this and get it off of your chest. I am very sorry to hear that you have been sexually abused before in your life, as what you're experiencing now may be symptoms of inner pain. I can tell you that there is hope to breakthrough and freedom, you have to acknowledge that. You are strong and deep down, the inner self of you actually is good and wants to be good. Surround yourself with people who care about you and love you, because in these cases, genuine love and care is what gets you through.
  • It is hard to say when you think there is something wrong with you. I have had the habit of self masturbation since i was a kid not even yet a teen. I never felt love  during sexual intercourse but a different kind of fix I get from it. Is it another way of self harming? I still get urges to just give in and return to before but my love for my children is stronger than any urge I face. I am confused on this. I have never told anyone about it either.
  • You might want to visit: http://www.mymensgroup.net/addiction-recovery-resources.html and look at the top few red button links. There is a sexual addiction screening test there that might be helpful, sex addiction checklist, etc.

  • I enjoy sex, but i feel like I'm using the person to get high.  In other words, I often feel little to no emotional connection to my sex partners.  They are a means to reach orgasmic bliss, but once that has been completed their use to me ceases to exist almost.  I also feel bad about it.  Like i know people are normally supposed to cuddle and all that, but I don't enjoy cuddling.  I usually just want them to leave.
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