I felt like I lost God

Hello guys,

I want to get something off of my chest that has happened to me 3 years ago. I've had a traumatic experience that triggered my OCD really badly, and I've also experienced one of the most difficult losses in my life.

I used to be such a strong believer and I believed strongly in God and it was my purpose of life, but then I don't know what happened to me, I just felt within me deep emptiness, I thought I wasn't "saved" and I would cry out to God and I would see no response. Slowly, my faith started shaking and I lost it slowly and I blamed myself over it, I would cry day and night and I experienced the most difficult pain in my life because I have given my life for his sake.

3 years later (now), I'm left with the inability to have faith or trust, I am unable to believe anymore and I don't know what to call myself. I am even afraid to call myself an "agnostic" or someone who doesn't know if God is even there, I am so confused. How do I believe again?
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  • You believe again by beginning to understand that consciousness is universal, or cosmic, at that we are all individuations of God. We, the human race collectively, ARE God! Our thoughts travel out through the ether to the Source field which some people call God. You have to send those thoughts out with true desire, emotion and faith and remove all sense of judgement and ego. What you are doing is not communicating with God but communicating with your higher conscious. The higher conscious, or higher self, of each person who ever lived combines into one ball of etheric consciousness which we call God. By communicating with this central ball of consciousness, you are able to receive answers. Do it with absolute faith, certainty and belief, remove all aspects of doubt and skeptcisim and do it knowing that you are God, I am God, we are all God and that all we need to do to prove it is to learn how to think and manifest through the Universal Mind (Source/God). We, collectively, are the true creators of our own reality - we ARE God!
  • I think anyone, no matter how devoted they are, must certainly have periods of doubt. It can be a struggle to remain faithful when life is lousy, and I believe God knows that. True faith is difficult, but that's part of the reason why it's so meaningful.

    I can't speak for others, but I look for grace in the world around me. When I see a beautiful sunset, or maybe even get a smile from a pretty girl, the feeling inside seems like a gift. I know I'm never going to be greeted by an angel from Heaven, or witness a burning bush like Moses saw; it never works that way. But I believe God's still talking to me, often very quietly.
  • Believe, first and foremost, in yourself. That will help to ground you, and you can start to work on what actually means something to you. 

    If your head is all up in the air about "who to believe in", you'll never figure it out. It's not up to some other divine being to make everything happen the way it does, you, too, can influence your life.
    You can grab the bull by the horns, believe in yourself, everything else will fall into place and the way sort of paves itself out in front of us.
  • hey there. thanks for sharing so honestly. i've had periods of doubt too and confusion...used to be in the church as well. sometimes the dark night of the soul can lead us to more peace and joy...

    for me..learning to just be. not striving. not running after some feeling or experience. just being. peace. breathing. quiet mind.
    go into nature. sit. observe. listen. no expectations. just be.
    let go. 
    believe in you. believe in love. self-love. 
    you are worthy. amazing. a beautiful soul. 
    you don't have to figure anything out. you can't figure it all out. none of us can. 
    i listen to certain people who "ground" me. maybe find those that speak peace to your heart....

  • I think we have all felt that way on some level. I could be wrong, but most people begin to doubt themselves as well as their beliefs in trying times.
    The darkness, and depression can cause one to feel as if they are without faith all alone. Don't beat yourself up change will come you shall be restored.

  • It is easy to feel God when times are going good. It is easy to feel you have lost your relationship with HIM when times are bad. I have found myself in the position that I do not know what to do many times. I still have faith in God and know HE is there, but I get so wrapped up in what I am struggling with that I forget that I am still HIS child. When this happens I give it to God. Whatever my problem is I actually say I am giving this to you God because I do not know how to handle this. Then I walk away from it. I try not to think about it because I feel a great sense of relief that it will be resolved. Normally, within a few days I am completely amazed at how simply my gigantic problems were fixed. Sending you many prayers for peace and strength! 
  • Thank you for responding to my question and helping me with my worries. I want to share that I absolutely am motivated now to just look within and find true inner peace. I know it all comes from within and I am thankful to be here and to have wonderful people like you all to encourage me with my struggles. Thank you dearly from my heart.
  • I have felt the same way too @Kyler but I just let my inner self be quiet to listen to the voice I used to hear. It took a while for me to hear it again. Ensure you live in peace with everyone, ask for the Lord's forgiveness in everything wrong you know and don't know you may have done and you will bounce back like never before.

    Someone once told me this happens to people who want to attain a higher spiritual level with God. Watch out then, you may be closer to Him than you ever thought.
  • Just know that God is still with you. No matter what tests we are put through in this life, it is only temporary. All wounds heal and even science states that people who go through trauma turn out positive and on top when the storm blows over. Hang in there!
  • Bringing this back because it's so important. I completely agree with you, @sillylucy. I feel two things. One, that I've seperated ways with God. Two, that he's somehow still looking out for me... guiding me to find my way back to him. 

    God is always there with you, no matter what. He's a loving a forgiving God. You have to pray and let God help you. He'll open up your heart and show you the right way to go.
  • It is almost impossible to steer someone in restoring faith in God. You need to find it yourself and I believe that you will but it takes time for these kinds of things. The process of finding God is the process of finding yourself within God and the quest is on from the moment we're born whether you are a believer or not. We seek our true nature and those who find it are truly blessed. I hope it will strike you again soon enough.
  • I had my own doubts about God not so long ago, but I've recovered my faith in God.  I believe my prayers have been listened, but not always.  You have to understand that God will not always help you, only when he sees fit, because yes, he does works in mysterious ways.  
  • I would suggest talking to a preacher and tell him all your doubts about God. That way you can relieve all the stress from your shoulders and get explanations.
  • This is a really interesting question... and I think that the only person that have the answer is you, do what makes you feel better with yourself, if you feel kind of empty because your lack of faith you can talk to religious people, sometimes they have really strong and interesting points of view, or you can be open to new ideologies and religions, I don't know. Maybe you should do some reseach about it.
    Good luck!
  • The only way you'll find God again is by searching for Him, so I advise you to start and look into the multi cultures of this world, see how each one pictures the concept of a "God", and only after that, make your belief, decide either if you can believe anything said by a religion or by another person or not.
  • There's a saying that goes: "Work as if everything depended on God and pray as if everything depended on you." One lesson I gleaned from this quote is that, whether you believe in God or not, you have to do your part and own up to your mistakes and shortcomings. God helps whenever possible and in accordance with the plan but He doesn't have to do all the work for you. If our 5 senses and our emotional and mental faculties are still intact, then we also have to be responsible for own human becoming.

    I hope you understand that God is not a spoonfeeding God. He helps those who helps themselves. Eventually you'll see the logic of what I'm saying. For the meantime, just take your time. Hopefully you'll get back the faith you lost one way or another.

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