My spouse needs help

My husband is an opiate addict along with major depression and PTSD.  We are trying to find him a facility in NJ/NY that can treat both conditions.  The problem is my husband refuses to participate in group.  He rather one on one treatment.  I know this is not even an option but I am new to all of this so any help would be appreciated.  Thanks
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  • @spouseneedshelp... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing with us. I'm sorry to hear about your husband's issues. You may want to look into a place called the Center for Motivation and Change. They have both inpatient and outpatient treatment in NY. Here's a link to their website:

    Please know that we are here to help and support you any way we can. 

    Keeping you and your husband in my thoughts and prayers. And sending you positive vibes. Along with some virtual hugs.
  • Thank you so much Dean!  Praying everyday that he can beat this!
  • @spouseneedshelp hello and welcome. thanks for reaching out. 

    i do wish and your husband the best...and hope you can find him something he will flourish in...

    here for you if you need!
  • @spouseneedshelp Hi there! I can offer you one little bit of advice as I was in the same situation as your husband. When I first went to rehab I was completely against talking in groups as I felt like I was a failure. I sat silent for my first week there, but then something just happened and I was able to open up and it was like taking your first breath when you feel like you're drowning. Immediate relief.
    No one can force him to get help. The one thing about addicts is you have to want it for yourself. That being said, I didn't not go in the first time wanting it but it at least opened my eyes. Even if it was only 2 months, I got to see a brief period of sober life. The last time I went I really wanted it. And I got it.
    If you can at least get him in there somehow, it may not stick immediately but hopefully it will give him a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel.
    I hope he gets the help he needs, and I wish you both the very best of luck!
  • Hi there,
    I know that group therapy can seem daunting, I am still not a huge fan of it, but may Isuggest a trip to a counsellor or therapist first?? It can help him to open up and deal with his feelings, and perhaps afterwards he wouldn't feel so judged.... feel the need to be defensive.
    I'll let you in on a secret, a HUGE part of recovery is having to swallow the ginormous pride that we had in ourselves..... eat our hat, egg... on the face... we didn't hve control, we couldn't keep an eye on it, we aren't such a great wife/father/brother/dentist. He will struggle with that, but once the step has been passed... he will feel it a lot easier to open up in group, especially once he gets that he is not alone, all those people are there for the same reason, fighting the same battle, and some better off, some really in the gutter, and nobody is there to judge.

  • @spouseneedshelp... I'm continuing to pray right along with you. 

    Peace and hugs, my friend. Go forward, be brave, and keep the faith.
  • If he does not want to join a recovery group.Don't force him. Treatment of addiction, mental disease and personality disorders cannot be forced upon people.Treatment will work only when the person reliazes this.
  • Well the refusal to participate in group is something that is certainly an obstacle.  In my experience I can say that I was a little worried at first but I opened up to the idea, so I would just say that getting him in there might change his mind, but then again that might be a battle in itself.  I hope that you find a solution and get him some help.
  • @spouseneedshelp... How are things going? Just curious. If you get a chance, let us know how you and your husband are doing. Thinking of you.
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