Routine changes

I know it's normal to get at least a little apprehensive by any change in our lives but for me it's so hard to adapt to new situations. Even small things get me extreme anxiety and I can't avoid to feel bad, even when that new situation is beneficial for me (a new job, for example). Even timetable changes or seats change in university were enough to make me get extremely anxious. Do you adapt easily to things or do you get affected by routine changes?
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  • Change has never really bothered me... I actually enjoy change. I'm constantly changing furniture around and redecorating everything. I enjoy change, just not drastic ones. 
  • The first feeling I get when there is a change in routine is sudden stomach upset then confusion on how to adjust my timetable. I can be a very organized person but change gets me anxious.

    But the good thing is after a week, I am well adjusted and settled with my new routine.
  • it depends, but i don't really care for big changes..i also like to know what to expect...like i like to know what's going to happen or be required of me before i do something or go somewhere. it decreases the anxiety.
  • Thank you very much for your replies.
    Like @darkrebelchild said, I also (eventually) end up getting used to a routine but when the change occurs I get really anxious, it's crazy- and I also get an upset stomach actually! Usually when I'm nervous the first organ affected is my stomach; I basically can't eat anything. My sleep is also affected.
    @dominica I also prefer to know what to expect, and when I don't I get into "what if everything goes wrong" mode so it's like you say, knowing in advance can help managing the anxiety.
  • I used to be someone who absolutely hated change. When things would change--no matter how small--I would have an incredibly difficult time adapting. New policies at work. Updates to software I used. New neighbors. Etc. But I finally realized that I was getting all worked up over something I had absolutely no control over. And by doing so, I was making myself miserable. I finally convinced myself to let go. Now I'm much happier every single day. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." I highly recommend it! :)
  • I find a change in my routine is pretty stressful. Last time I changed jobs, I had to adjust to a very different schedule, and it was exhausting for the first few months. My sleeping schedule was changing, and there was all kinds of new information to learn. It can be really overwhelming sometimes and it's important to rest and practice good self care during this times.
  • @DeanD That's exactly my situation. Any small change makes me go nuts and I can't control it. I know I can't avoid it and sometimes these changes don't really affect me deeply but I can't seem to let go. Other thing that I notice is that I have some kind of "rituals" that I need to do in order to have things controlled and these often are related to my anxiety of changing. I don't know if I'll be able to do it, yet I'll try to follow your advice. Thank you very much!

    @Sunshiner I'm sorry you also had to go through that. Some people don't even understand that changes have such effect on us since they're not affected by it. I hope that, by now, everything is okay again. Thank you for your reply!
  • For me it depends on the routine that's changing. Some I find to be natural or even feels appealing but some I am apprehensive about and they do give me anxiety. I unfortunately don't know any tricks to battle the anxiety though, other than maybe just stop caring too much altogether which has kind of worked for me so far.
  • @Tata It makes sense, since some changes can be bigger or have a much more personal effect on a person than others. I guess that, being the self-conscious person I am may have something to do with this aversion to change, since most of my "change anxiety" is related to social activities and such.
  • @yeppeo if you have access to it I highly recommend seeking help from a therapist as I would love to go to one myself if only it were Available in my locality. I find that as I grow older I see a lot of my negative behavior and psychology stems all the way from certain events in my childhood that lead me to act or posture a certain way and growing up I developed and started to get used to these types of negative thought processes. Granted, seeing a therapist is not a magic pill that will rid you of the problem instantly, but I'm guessing it will at least help with recognizing triggers and finding tactics to combat them and such.
  • @Tata I'm in the process of getting help regarding other situation I'm facing right now (I wrote it on another thread) and I'll make sure to talk about this with the future professional that's going (hopefully) to help me. I also think that bullying, in my case, had a big role in all the issues I have now and not only limited to change. I'm sorry there isn't any help where you live and I hope you can find peace for what torments you.
  • @yeppeo I am glad you are able to find help. I guess my anxiety is a little bit more manageable thankfully so I can manage without professional help at least so far, but I do think mine also stem from similar circumstances albeit I did not get bullied in the traditional sense but the relatives I was living with growing up were very much kind of like emotional bullies in a way so there might be a trend there. Thank you for the well wishes and likewise to you too. I hope to read about your future experiences and updates as well, good luck!
  • I do not adapt to change very well at all. Change causes me to become overly anxious. I do not like time change, changes to routine, or any change. If I have to do something new, then my stomach gets all tied up in knots and depending on what it is, I almost get physically sick. I hate it and try everything I can to stop from feeling like this.
  • @Tata Thank you so much. I'm glad that at least your anxiety is enough for you to handle on your own, but don't let it "eat" you; sometimes we think we are in control but we end up being "the controlled". I'll try to write about it soon (I hope!).

    @morgoodie I understand your struggle, that's exactly what I feel. I'm sorry it has to be this way. You should also try to find someone to help you through it, since it's overwhelming to deal with alone. I wish you the best.
  • I used to be so scared of change, especially when I had to greatly adjust with it. But recently, something unfortunate happened and I was given no choice but to accept it. I was frustrated for weeks. I didn't want to move forward anymore. I was devastated at how things turned out. Then my parents talked me out of my slight depression and I started again, slowly. I accepted my failure and I prayed fervently about it. Today I could say I am so much happier with my life. Things happen for a reason, even disappointments can lead to greater opportunities :)
  • It is kind of that double edged sword type of situation because we know that we have to change our routine but then that might weaken us a little and we can revert back to the old, but certainly it is important.  Establishing a new routine always takes time, but the end result is all that matters and keeping that in mind is always the best idea.
  • @ellajanelle I'm glad you could surpass what happened to you. Sometimes changes are inevitable and for someone who doesn't deal with those changes well, they can be overwhelming. I also have the tendency to get really sad and unwillingly to move on. Sometimes I still live in the past and when I finally get a situation that situation is also in the past, and because of it I can't really like the present because it seems the past was always better.

    @rz3300 I agree with you. It's not easy and takes time but when we get into the new routine, everything becomes mundane.
  • @yeppeo I am facing some pretty significant anxiety this past week with the likelihood of returning to work full time a very real possibility. 

    I didn't used to have anxiety issues, not since i was in school really. I sang for a band, i had a job where i had to talk on the phone and in person to dozens of people every day, including higher up managers and bosses. but i left my job (and my band temporarily) after my son was born. I have been a SAHM since September 2014 (my son was born in October 2014) 

    staying home was a much bigger change than I anticipated. on top of the tremendous change into motherhood (wonderful, terrifying, awesome) but suddenly having no day to day contact with anyone really other than my husband was not something i had considered becoming an issue. as time went on, especially through this past winter, my seclusion became worse and worse, to the point where i actually avoided going out or seeing other  people. i would get extremely anxious if i had to leave my son even just for a short time like for a doctor's appointment. 

    the job prospect is working from home, so we'll see how that works out if i do actually get it. i'm trying to get out and about more now that the weather is finally warming up, it's difficult to find the motivation but i always feel better after getting us out, even if it's just to the store. i'm hoping that if this job does pan out, at least talking on the phone to other people will help open me up again. 
  • @lost247 I totally understand your seclusion. The same happened to me after my graduation. The people I was the closest came back to their hometowns or went abroad and I became alone, since almost all of them were from different places. Then unemployment came and I couldn't fiind a job, mostly because I couldn't even try to because just thinking about it gave me the worst anxiety attacks ever. I stopped going out and talking to people. Now I found a job and I'm going to work but I'm terrified because it's too much of a change for me. Of course it's always good to get out of our comfort zone but doing so I always have massive anxiety to the point of being physically sick. It's great that you're doing it though and I really admire you! Thanks a lot for your reply!
  • I don't think I'm the best when it comes to routine changes. Definitely better than I once was - but I still have a tendency to get a little stressed out when I don't know exactly how things will play out in a situation. My husband tends to be able to talk sense into me -- he's a pretty cool, calm and collected kind of guy, and that certainly makes it easier for me.
  • I think that I don't really have a problem when it comes to changing little things on my routine such as listening different music, trying different colors on my clothes that I usually don't use, etc. but I think that as almos everyone, big changes are a real challenge for me, I'm always worried if a big change comes up, but at the end of the day I have to face that situation, I guess.
  • It's interesting that you mention change of clothes @anorexorcist20 ! Actually I had a phase when I became very self-conscious of using a different kind of clothes that I usually appeared to people (like, using a skirt since I was always wearing jeans) and that made me really uncomfortable, mainly because I don't know how to react to the compliments/critiques. But you're right.
  • I hate change, and I just don't seem to be able to deal with it at all. My parents got a divorce almost 2 years ago now (I was 24 when the process started - so not a child) and I just couldn't cope with it. It was all so unexpected and sudden. Everything that had been constant since childhood was ripped away and I just didn't know what to do or where we were going. Things have got a little better since then, but I won't pretend that I am completely comfortable with the way that things have changed. 
  • The same goes for me, I dread change. I want the routine, the known and the used to things. I feel happy whenever I can stick to my routine everyday. I feel happy when people don't change what I have planned for the day. I feel happy whenever I have stuck to my schedule. And whenever something goes off the schedule, I get anxious and panic. It's like I cannot deal with change.

    But like they say, the only constant thing in life is change. So somehow, we have to embrace it. I'm still on the journey of trying to embrace changes. I try to find the reason for some things that happen spontaneously. Whenever we cannot do something that I scheduled, I try to keep calm and tell myself there's a next time. Whenever my online jobs have a shift in work load, I try to calm myself as well.

    Change is hard to accept at times. But the earlier we learn to accept change, the better it is for us. 
  • @GemmaR I'm sorry you went through that. I believe you lost your sense of security about having something to call "home" or "family" and that's probably why it hurts the most. As a child I would adapt much better to the changes so I also believe kids, while don't they have it easy at all (especially when their parents use them as a weapon in a divorce) they kind of get used to it easier than an older person. I just hope you can find happiness again and get used as possible to the change that happened in your life.

    @winniethepooh I get you so bad! An that dread happens in mundane things like changing the place where I'm going to have lunch. But I agree with you that we need to get used to that change because things will change: sometimes suddenly, others not so much (which is good) but they indeed change. Thanks a lot for your comment, hope you can embrace it.
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