Sudden Explosive Rage

I snapped today. I was startled by a stranger who appeared to have unlocked my front gate. The next thing I knew, I was choking him. I there were a lot of things going on in my head - I wanted to ask him why he was there and what was he doing but I literally could not bring myself to say anything thought I wanted to speak. I finally managed to control my self a little and dragged him outside of my gate, still clutching on his throat, I remember hoping someone sees me and comes to get the guy away from me. My next door Muslim neighbor and his nephew came to help. It took two 6 ft, 230 lbs grown men to peel my my grip from that guy's neck. Security came and they confirmed that the man was not from our subdivision but claims to be in real estate business. My girlfriend's grandfather was an ex-police chief, made a few calls and said he will handle it. Everyone is saying that I didn't do anything wrong, that I may have snapped but the guy indeed trespassed and since our neighborhood had a lot of burglaries late last year, that man might be a scout. I heard my girlfriend being asked if I have ever shown that kind of rage towards her before, she politely answered no and added that though I may have a short fuse at times, it was never anything like how I was today. Never in our five years together.

"It felt like I was possessed" I've heard that line said on TV so many times and saw it as nothing more than a lame excuse of a violent criminal. But today it felt exactly like that - I was conscious yet not in control. I may need to speak to someone about this but I also feel like its best to just forget about it because having a total stranger poke on the issue relentlessly feels like it might do me more harm than good. But I truly hate how it felt. I even reminded my girlfriend where the taser was, to not think twice on using it on me or anyone that poses a threat on her and running to the neighbor's house to call for help.

How would any of you deal with something like this? If you have, how did you do it? Is there a medical explanation for this?
  • 11 Commentsby Likes|Date
  • It sounds like you were protecting your home. You didn't kill the man, you didn't beat him to a bloody pulp. You sound like you were somewhat in control and justifiably so. When it comes to a persons home I think that I would have been equally as irate. No one should be in an area that is private if they were not invited. This was not a child or a febrile senior, this was a man who should know better then to trespass.

    The fact that the intensity of your feelings bothered you is pretty normal. I would imagine if this was an isolated incident you could just let it go. You were defending your home. We live in a time when people do barbaric things to other people for all sorts of reasons. I can assure you if I found someone in my home I would be far from nice about it.
  • Legally, it sounds like you will be okay - he was on your property and it sounds like your girlfriend's grandfather will deal with it, so no worries there.
    I really think you should see a doctor if you experience this kind of rage again though - if you felt like you had no control and were even hoping someone would come stop you, that should probably be addressed.
  • I guess it was just the sudden rush of blood to my head. I admit I used to have a very bad temper - I still do but I try to keep it in check because its not gonna do anything good for me or my family but that one time really worried me. Its okay now, some people came by 2 days after that incident, my girlfriend's grandfather pretty much sorted it out.
  • It sounds pretty extreme but at the same time your were protecting your home. That's the thing about anger, it can be both helpful and harmful. In one sense it it is good you are a fighter and protector and can take control of a situation, in another sense that same rage could work against you if wrongly directed. It's a delicate balance I'm sure. In one sense we need people with righteous anger in this world, but at the same time we just hope the anger is properly directed. Since you are so concerned about your anger, it shows you are contemplative and self reflective individual, and I think that's a very positive thing. 
  • Although I understand why you acted the way you did, it would be better if you learn to control your emotions and keep a level head all the time. What if in a fit of anger you end up harming the person to the point that he can never recover? Lucky you the authorities deemed him "suspicious." Still, had your neighbors not come, you would have committed a crime. Practice self-restraint and find some outlet to your anger. Be strategic next time and of course, make sure your gate can't be accessed from the outside.
  • @ringoberry thank you for sharing.  you could certainly have some rage deep down and an "opportunity" for it to come out occured...and it did.  i jokingly say sometimes that i  pity the person who ever gives me reason to "go off" because i think waaaaaay down deep i have some rage....yet, you know. i don't act on it! 

    my ex was a cop and he used to tell me that when he would get into a fight (because the guy would resist or just fight cops), his adrenaline would get so intense he would "flip"....and he was a gentle man, but the adrenaline, as well as his will to live because these guys could kill you with a couple blows...it just makes you react aggressively.

    could you have handled it differently? sure. but maybe this is a signal that deep down you have some unresolved anger.  of course, it never hurts to see a therapist in life..we all have some layers we could get through :)

    or maybe it's just adrenaline pumping!!  

    at least you are aware and willing to look closely at this...
  • In a way, I'm not surprised you went for him. After all, he was trespassing and therefore threatening your home. It's not like you suddenly exploded for no reason at all. The main thing is, you seem to have plenty of insight into the situation. 
  • Hello Ringoberry, Hope you are doing well! Well, I thought, Dominica was spot on about your situation. You must have had some unresolved anger that was manifesting itself and had an overwhelming effect on you as you could hardly speak. 

    Actually, I was the exactly the same guy when I was 20 years old and was seething with anger at my cook maid and others in my family for innocuous things. 3 years after, it transformed into an anxiety disorder. I'm not scaring you with my story, but unresolved anger can wreak havoc. A visit to a professional therapist can help.
  • I'd not worry about this unless it started happening very often, otherwise it might be nothing. I think you had a very fast reaction and many people would applaud you for that.
  • @Seraphine That's why people would always tell you "think before you react." It sounds cliche but putting this advice into action does help a lot. The quickness of the reaction was good but harming another person, who may not really be bad after all, isn't exactly commendable.
  • Your reaction was definitely extreme, but you were trying to protect your property from the stranger. Luckily, he was someone suspicious which accounted for your behavior but maybe next time it will be different. If this is an isolated situation, then you may not need to seek professional help to control your anger. I would seek help if this were to occur again because it might mean you have some unresolved underlying emotions that are bubbling to the surface. Good luck and thanks for sharing your story.
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