What if I have every right to Anxious?

What if I am should be falling apart?  What if I should be an alcoholic?

I drink too much, maybe three beer most nights.  But ever day is a challenge.  I am a single parent, I wake up in the morning, I go to work.  I come home, try to cook dinner, run.  My kids usually tell me my dinner is shit, and then I have to clean the house.  After that I have to struggle to find money.  Not that I'm poor, I should, by all accounts, be well off.  But I live in southern California and when your neighbors are pulling in 300k it's hard to keep up.

I run three - four miles a night, I will do squats and crunches too, just to fight off the anxiety.  I make a lot, sort of, above the national average.  But my mortgage... it's breath taking and there's nothing cheaper.  My head is spinning guys.  I am not depressed, I never feel sad, but from when I wake up and through most of the night I feel like throwing up.  You know what the answer to this is? 

Because I don't.  I'm a strong, strong person.  But gawd damn it if I ain't super man.  I need strength right now.  I don't know how to relax, every single night is a night that I stress and worry, and that stress is legitimate. 

  • 3 Commentsby Likes|Date
  • I feel you my man. i don't know much about taking care of a family but I figure it's extremely stressful. It sounds like you don't make much time for yourself, I like to dedicate maybe 30 Minutes in a day to just not move, breathe, and maybe listening to calm music or asmr. Also running 3-4 miles a day can raise cortisol levels, increasing stress. Your stress is legitimate of course. If you feel like you need medication, I've been on Lexapro, Vivance, and Prozac. They help a little bit but do some research on each one.
  • @shannondrinks... I'm sorry you're struggling. Stress and anxiety can certainly make life way more challenging that it already is.

    My advice: If the stress and anxiety are getting to you, see a doctor about it. Either your regular doctor or a psychiatrist. And consider seeing a therapist, too. Talking about problems with a good counselor can really help chip away at the stress and anxiety you feel. I know, because I was a mess and therapy really helped me.

    Also...If your kids tell you your dinner is shit, then cook for yourself and tell your kids they can cook their own meals. 
    Sending you lots of positivity, love, and light. And big hugs.
  • I was going to say, if your kids are old enough to complain about dinner, maybe they should be the ones making it?? OR perhaps making it together with them, as family time, so that they have a hand in seeing just how hard it is. I thinnk you could run a couple of mies less and spend an extra forty minutes on dinner with the kids?
    Life is a series of errands and bills, isn't it. I never really got stress till I stopped drinking... when I sobered up and saw the reality of bills, pressure, keeping the house in order, the laundry, looking after paperwork, I really got the shock of my life. I used to let all that stuff just slide. Since quitting, hypnosis has really helped me to keep focused, take time for myself and stop running everywhere, and my blood pressure has gone down a LOT.
    I think talking to a counsellor or someone could really help you. I know that just the fact of telling my hypnotherapist my issues and having her aknowledge them and see them as legitamate really helped.
    Be sure to come back to us now and then, and keep in touch, we're always here for you!
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