Basic Sex Compulsion.

Since this is anonymous board, I have no trouble admitting my addiction, with hope that others can either help or share what helped them overcome, or at least curtail, their problem.. With the advent of internet porn, I have become more and more addicted to online sites, sometimes staying on them up to 12 hours at a time. At about the 11 hr mark, I finally ending up saying to myself "this is ridiculous", and end up going to bed, where I have dreams (mostly about sex).Without getting into specific details, my obsessions keep getting more and more rougher (mostly BDSM, which I have managed to curtail recently, thank God). I NEVER actually go to any of these sites, just general ones that have some content of it,  like Tube Galore or PornHub, XVideos etc. I have researched sex addiction online and come up with several reasons why I might have this addiction. Do these reasons apply to any of you other readers of this post? Namely: fear of actually wanting a real relationship? Guilt. Shame.  Fear that I'm an absolute pervert? One more thing that has interested me about this topic. Repression. As far as I am concerned I came from a very open minded era. I used to joke about sex all the time. All my firiends realized this and also realized that this was "just me". (We're talking High School here). Of course, looking back now, I realize that some of the girls I used to joke about sex with didn't find this funny at all. Having aged, of course I realize now that, yes of course, I can understand why they didn't find it funny. My point is this about repression. For those of you who came from a more repressed background, do you find you have more of a propresnsity toward sexual addcition/compulsion that those who came from a more open background? I really appreciate the opportunity to share on this board, and I look forward to your responses.
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  • You watch porn 12 hours a day?
    I don't even know what to say.. that's not healthy, all jokes aside. Why don't you go out, get some fresh air. 
    Make new connections, get out there... Go on, enjoy life.. at least open a window
  • @Webby... Welcome to the community and thanks for sharing so honestly with us. Porn addiction has certainly grown with the advent of the Internet. One question I have for you: Are you simply watching porn, or are you masturbating while you do it?

    We're here to help and support you however we can.
  • With all due respect to  both LostintheUK and DeanD; yes, I do end up masturbating sometimes up to 12 hrs. a day. If you get some sort of perverse joke out of this; then quite frankly, that's your problem. This is a real addiction that I'm trying to overome. Not funny at all. Do the research. Been battling it all my life and I'm 56 now. Obviously the more recent compulsions are newer since I've gotten high speed internet, but yes, masturbation has always been a problem for me. Have finally descided to discuss with my therapist next time I see him, although I've been seeing him for quite a while now, this will be the first time I've brought it up with him. I will keep reading previous posts on subject to see if I can get anything else out of it.
  • @Webby... Just so you know, I was in no way making light of your situation. I know that porn/masturbation addiction is a big problem these days. Please realize that I meant no offense.

    You may be interested in checking out the NoFap website. It was started by a gentleman who had a porn/masturbation addiction and wanted to help others who were struggling. Here's the link:

    We are here to help and support you, my friend. You are not alone. By all means, check out the other discussions on this subject. Maybe you will find something that helps.

    Sending you positive vibes and lots of hope and encouragement. You can overcome this. I know you can.

  • @webby Sorry, none of us are perfect. We all have our demons, I hope you found the above info useful. As @DeanD said, you can overcome this. Don't feel like its too late, you are looking for help now. Wish you the best 
  • Hi @Webby, thanks for taking the time and having the courage to share here. It takes a lot of bravery to explore these areas of our lives, and it's awesome that you're choosing to deal with your issue. As you've said porn addiction and sex addiction are two very veal things. I also believe they are interrelated but not mutually exclusive. Meaning that watching porn compulsively does not necessarily equate to a sex addiction. As you've pointed out there are other, complex issues at hand, one of which is repression like you stated. There are various theories out there that link repression with sex addiction, but this is a mountain of research I would take with a grain of salt. In order to face your addiction you will find the need to peel back many layers to determine why this particular behavior is controlling you (which you've already started doing by posting here). Many people sink into porn as an escape. Perhaps you are avoiding something. Perhaps there is some pain you are masking and this activity brings you relief the same way drugs and alcohol bring people relief. Keep diving deep into these questions. And remember there is no need to feel shame or guilt over this, nor do you need to put labels on yourself the way society likes to (i.e. pervert, sexual deviant, etc.). Just acknowledge you have an issue you need to work on, make a commitment to changing your life, and then do the work. There is no reason our addictions need to control us and we have a key out of our own prison. Please don't hesitate to keep us posted.
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