Could Your Spouse be a Sociopath?

Whether you’re in a newly minted relationship with your significant other or you’ve been married for years, sometimes you just get a feeling that something is off with your spouse, the relationship, or just the way things have played out. For some people, they’ll never quite get a handle on this feeling that something is wrong until the relationship is actually done and over with. 

Reality isn’t like the movies, sometimes the hints and clues slip by us, sometimes no one is surrounding us listening to the ominous music play and shouting, “What are you doing?! Get out of there!” Sometimes we’re on our own or those around us are fooled too. 

If you’re trying to decide whether a current or past relationship you were in involved a sociopath, here’s some things to look for. 

All sociopaths have patterns. Alternating praise and belittling, abuse and apologies, building you up and tearing you down, overt attention and withholding affection, whichever tactic your sociopath uses may be unique to them and your situation but what’s not unique is that it happens in cycles, patterns, and often becomes predictable.

The Facade Fades
The caring, nurturing, or thoughtful personality that you thought you fell in love with begins to fade. It’s as if they can’t maintain the image anymore, or want to spend less and less energy on it. More and more things become your fault or reasons to abuse, neglect, or manipulate you. Traits that you thought were positive turn into tools used against you over time before you finally don’t recognize the person standing before you.

When you find yourself avoiding certain situations or events that might make your spouse angry, or avoiding your spouse when they become angry only to pretend it never happened, there’s a good chance you’re in a relationship with a sociopath. Not going grocery shopping when you know your spouse will be home waiting to scrutinize everything you did and didn’t get correctly or hiding away during fits of anger are not normal parts of relationships no matter what we’ve been told.

While there are many more signs that you might be dealing with a sociopath, this is just a small glimpse into what life sometimes entails with one. If you have any concerns that your partner is mentally unstable or unhealthy, seek help from a qualified professional. 

Pierce, Q. “Marrying a Sociopath: Where Were the Warning Signs?”. Love Fraud. (Website). August 2013

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