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What is your best advice for loved ones of alcoholics/addicts?

Posted June 2017 in Advice for Family and FriendsVote Up0Vote Down

I find that so many people are finding themselves at their wits end when it comes to having an alcoholic or addict in their life.

Whether it's a child, partner, friend, family member, etc., the struggle is real.

What is your best advice for the loved ones of addicts? How they can take care of themselves? When they're tired and confused and scared?

1 Commentby Likes|Date
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DeanD June 2017

I was asked this very question in an interview recently. This is how I responded:
Stay calm. This is something that will likely take some practice for most people (myself included). No matter how much anger you feel toward your loved one and their substance abuse problem, losing your cool and yelling at them will not make anything better. In fact, it’s likely to make things worse. Believe me; I was anything but calm early on in my son's addiction. I have since learned that cooler heads definitely prevail.
Work on your own recovery. So many parents and loved ones of people with addictions don’t realize that their own recovery is just as important as the addict’s. In fact, it might be more important. If you are a physical/emotional wreck, you will be unable to help your loved one in any positive way. Instead of one healthy person being available to help one sick person, there ends up being two sick people, neither of whom can help the other.
To paraphrase David Sheff, author of Beautiful Boy: A Father's Journey Through His Son's Addiction, don’t become addicted to your loved one’s addiction. And know this: You. Can. Get. Through. It.

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