The Link Between Porn and Sexual Dysfunction

Posted June 2017 in Sex and Porn AddictionVote Up0Vote Down

A new study suggests that porn and sexual dysfunction in young men (aged 20 to 40) go hand in hand. For those young men who prefer the use of pornography versus real-world sexual interactions, sex can become a performance that can’t be completed with other people. Often these young men find themselves falling into a trap.

What the study finds is that for this age cohort, erectile dysfunction has very low organic rates, so for those experiencing dysfunction, the study wanted to find the inorganic cause. Researchers found that the link between pornography use and sexual dysfunction was at least one part of that cause but definitely not the only explanation.

One of the researchers, Christman, suggested that the problem may lie in the biology of addiction. As we know from earlier studies, our reward system circuitry in our brains is activated with sexual behavior, much like it is with drug use such as methamphetamines or cocaine.

Additionally, when studying internet pornography, researchers found that the same circuitry was becoming aroused at supernormal levels. Researchers believe that because of both observations, the brain becomes wired for pornography and unwired for real-world sexual encounters.

Watching pornography or viewing it is a self-selecting process whereby the user can select images, videos, and the likes of which at a constant and instant rate, often using more and more sexually arousing images each time. All these things together result in the self-reinforcing of the activity.

The study finds that just the same as with drug and alcohol addiction, the more porn that is used and watched, the more a tolerance is built in the brain. For those who regularly view porn, response to steady real-world sexual encounters becomes less likely, roping them into relying on pornography to get the release. Researchers believe that this could be the key to sexual dysfunction as it relates to pornography use.

Reference

Thompson, D. “Study Sees Link Between Porn and Sexual Dysfunction”. WebMD. (website). May 2017

17 Commentsby Likes|Date
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dominica June 2017

i have heard this too. i do think that there is hope for those who struggle with this....but it will take time and may require professional help.
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DeanD June 2017

I love so many things about the internet. But I hate that it's made porn so easily accessible to just about anyone. It's such a problem for so many people. And I think there's a huge stigma attached to porn addiction, too.
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ern August 2017

What can I do as a partner who is struggling to cope with my bf's struggle with this? He isn't sexually attracted to me and it's devastating to me.
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DeanD August 2017

@ern... I think talking to a therapist would be a great thing for you. And if you could possibly get your boyfriend to go to couples therapy with you, that would probably be helpful, too. Just know that this is a problem with him, not you. I know the problem has a big effect on you, but the root cause is not you. Just remember that, okay?
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ern August 2017

@DeadD thank you. I do need that reminder. I am in therapy and he said he would eventually go to couples therapy he's just not ready to go right now.
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DeanD August 2017

Anytime, @ern. We are here for you, my friend.
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MaggieElizabeth August 2017

watching porn hasn't seemed to affected my husband's performance, if anything it's the complete opposite. is this normal or is it possible he's keeping dysfunction from me? I read on here somewhere (maybe it was @ern) that said our relationship is normal (to me) in every aspect except for the porn issue. and everything i'm reading is opposite of this...the dysfunction, and the husband not being attracted to their spouse. does the addiction take many forms?
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ern August 2017

@MaggieElizabeth he was upfront with me when we were newly dating, and said he had a problem with porn. I expected like you mentioned, however, instead he just has to 'try' to get an erection where it should come natural. There have been a couple times where he loses it and gets so frustrated that he can't get hard again. That is just something I've never dealt with, and is difficult for me to handle. I'm used to past bf's just get and stay hard. I would so much rather his honesty though. I have been mentally abused in every other relationship as well as physical and sexual abuse in others. He is the only man who has actually truly cared about me and my life. Every one else tried to change me, manipulate me, lied to me, ect. My exhusband never cared about my own interests, and he actually expected /demanded me to give them all up for him. My current bf has been amazing in that aspect. When we do have sex, it is good and satisfying also.
I am sure that there are other aspects/forms though.
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MaggieElizabeth August 2017

@ern do you blame yourself for his inability to get hard? i'm sure this must be devastating to you as well. as I said my husband doesn't have this problem, it's usually me having the problem because my mind is full of doubt and thoughts that shouldn't be there when you're intimate with your husband. I wonder what he's thinking about, is he imagining women in the porn etc etc .... lt totally affects my ability to preform not his.
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ern August 2017

@Maggie@Elizabeth I don't really blame myself, I just feel inadequate. I'm not perfect looking, I do have 4 kids and carry a little weight in my belly. My past is loaded with abuse. He has different demons and he did tell me that he turned to porn after kicking drugs many years ago. I was thinking last night that my previous bf also has an addiction to porn/sex. He wanted it all the time, like several times a day. He wanted every time to be long and kinky, worthy of porn. He would criticize if I wasn't doing something 'right', if the encounter didn't last long enough or was kinky enough. If we weren't doing it often enough he would turn to porn; not discreetly, as a punishment to me. He would also tell me about his times with other women, either as a punishment for not pleasing him or thinking it was helpful to me. So I have a better perspective on my current relationship after realizing all that. We do have sex, he is just trying to not be obsessive about it. We both want a healthy relationship that sex is not a major priority, but our friendship takes priority. That is what we have, we have a fantastic friendship base. I think that I muddled my sexual past into my current feelings. I am going to tell him this, i have unfairly placed some pressure on him. I have also learned that I have a better conversation about this if I tell him I need to talk, Then give him time. I think about what I say, making sure I'm not using 'you' or 'should'. Also try not to seem demanding or applying pressure. Of course, I've learned that the hard way, by trial and error.
And yes, if it taking a while to get him hard, it shuts me down and I don't want to keep trying. I have told him recently what would help me during that time. That he needs to find a way to show me it's ME he wants and that has made a huge difference!
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MaggieElizabeth August 2017

@ern I try not to blame myself, but I think it kind of goes hand in hand with feeling inadequate. I can very much relate to this feeling. I'm not perfect either, nor do I think i'm "model" material, we all carry a little extra weight, but I do try to take care of myself so that he's proud to have me as a wife. he's good with compliments but these sometimes seem meaningless as I think he uses them to get sex
my husband isn't into kinky or anything that you can typically see in porn (at least he says he's not)he's not critical of me in anyway,he's adventurous wanting to try new places, positions etc and always eager to please me and make sure I've had mine... he's just into sex ..any time all the time! it's exhausting to be honest.
your ex sounds like a real piece of work, it's good that you and your current boyfriend are on the same page about working thru this together. in the end all anyone ever wants is to love and be loved right?
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ern August 2017

@MaggieElizabeth I was hoping for a cure. The realism that it will go on like this is not refreshing.
I am grateful that my bf does not want to get kinky or want to try new stuff all the time. He likes it basic, which was refreshing to me after my previous bf. He wants it basic to avoid triggers that I don't know about yet. So I'm on occasion left feeling sexually frustrated. I do not want the sex between us going into an unhealthy zone but am tired of feeling stuck
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MaggieElizabeth August 2017

@ern a cure or magic pill would be awesome...and it only went on for as long as it did because I was in denial/oblivious and he was secretive and dishonest...like I said, he thought what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me and that what he was doing wasn't like he was cheating...funny how it feels like cheating to me. the difference now is that he's admitting to having a problem...this is something we're going to fix over night, so hang in there. I'm still hoping there will be more woman like you and I who will join this conversation....talking to @chudmeister was helpful too
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Tired70 February 2018

So I’m new to this concept of on line support but it seems to work for some so I thought I’d give it a try. I’m a 47 yr old re married mom if 2 adult sons. My background is full of sexual trauma from many men including dad. 35 years of therapy and I am just now “getting “ it. Anyways my issue is porn. I detest it and just talking about it or listening to others talk about it cause my anxiety to escalate. Even now as I type I feel the heart racing. I know why I hate it and I also know I don’t have to have it in my life. I divorced the first husband due to his many addictions one being porn. Second husband was given full disclosure of everything prior to us getting married. I told him look I cannot and will not accept porn in my relationship it’s a trigger for me and I don’t want to go through the fights. He told me that was fine, not going to be an issue. Fast forward 2 years into our marriage and I caught him in the act of masturbating one morning. Full blown panic attack that left me paralyzed standing there. Of course , porn. I asked why? I was right there in bed? Really? It took months for me to trust him again we went to therapy together the therapist asked him if he understood why I didn’t want it and if it was something he could or would give up. Yes he said. He even promised. Wow. Fast forward to this past Sunday morning. Once again I caught him and he tried so hard to not get caught by shoving his phone in his pocket.
I asked him what he was doing and he reluctantly answered “playing”.
Ok it’s been 9 months since we’ve had sex, he hasn’t touched me and he seemed to have ED when we were intimate he himself was the only one who could get himself erect I couldn’t . So now not only are you limp but I cannot manually assist because why? It worked before. I was crushed thinking it was me. He said it wasn’t.
I asked him why again? You don’t want to touch me? Is it me? I’m a size 8, yeah used to be a 4 before I took a desk job. But seriously why am I blaming me? He actually told me that when I complained about my body it is a mood killer. Really husband? What mood has there been in 9 months? I’ve always had body image issues but never say a word about it during or before sex. He blamed me for his viewing porn. I don’t want to go through this again. If there’s 1 thing I’ve learned I cannot change a persons behavior and actions speak louder than words. I point blank asked him if he wanted this marriage or not. He said yes. But I don’t trust him.
That’s not a marriage.
I feel like a roommate.
Do I leave? Stay? Go back to therapy with him? I can’t even look at him. I’m so disappointed and literally tired of being lied to. I get people view porn and that’s fine but I cannot and will not tolerate it in my own life. Yet here I am once again. Maybe I just answered my own question. I have to take care of me. Maybe it is time to leave. He’d rather wait it out and assume I forgot. Not happening.
Anyone else go through this?
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dominica February 2018

@Tired70 hi there. thanks for reaching out. so sorry you are going through this. marriage is tough...with or without porn issues. you have set a firm boundary...you have every right to do that.

maybe you could try therapy again...with or without him. does he have a tough time communicating with you? maybe he could be more sincere and honest in therapy. maybe he's addicted.... or bored.... or both. who knows what's going on under the surface.

i'm not a therapist, so i don't have much to offer, but if you're not happy in what's going on, better to take time to process with a professional. marriages go through stages... as we age, some go through that "dead" or "no sex" stage...regardless of body types... so it does take a commitment to work at it....compromise...openly discuss...etc.

wish i had more to offer...
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JoshuaShea February 2018

@tired70 That does not sound like a fun environment. You can't make him do anything, and he can't make you feel any certain way. If he wants to go to counseling, the best you can do is ask. It sounds like you're angry and resentful at this situation. That's actually your choice, as much as it may feel like it's not.

I'm as much of a therapist as @dominica but if you're carrying this anger and resentment around, I can see why he may be steering clear of you. I also think it has a huge, huge amount to do with you catching him masturbating. I'm sure he felt a big mix of embarrassment and shame. If he blames you for it, it's hard to feel sexy around the source.

My guess is that he thought he could abstain and promised to do so because he thought what you and he would have together would be enough. Masturbation statistics would suggest it's not enough for most men, married or single. He knows that the issues you have are major, but they are also YOUR issues. He probably thought this was the path of least resistance, but it blew up in his face. I've been there.

I'm guessing he does want the marriage, but he wishes that he felt freer and safer to share his wants and needs. He tried to handle them in the most secretive, least-amount-of-conflict way possible, but that never works. He probably knows that now. I don't get the feeling he's addicted to anything. I get the feeling he's scared of upsetting you.

I would suggest both one-on-one and marriage counseling. It's certainly not going to make anything worse.
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dominica February 2018

@JoshuaShea great insight and advice thank you for sharing that!

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