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sclarkesclarke

Find Your Rock in Recovery

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Posted in Recovery Tips and StrategiesVote Up0Vote Down
Recovery is a life-long process full of bumps in the road, but it doesn’t have to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You should expect that recovery will have its ups and downs, it's part of life after all and life isn’t always smooth sailing. Today I want to make a point about finding your rock in recovery.

Much of recovery has to do with your support system, whether it’s one close friend, a small handful of people, or small army that becomes your community, your people, your support system, you’ll need that “rock”. When we talk about finding your rock, we don’t necessarily mean just one person, your rock could be your peer support group, your mom, a group of people you get together with outside of recovery, there’s really no limit on who, what, or how you stay successful so long as you’ve got something in the way of support set up.

The reason you need a rock in recovery is not just to help you through the tough times, stressful times, or the times when you’re struggling to cope with whatever life is throwing at you. Your rock should be there to see you through the good times as well. You want your rock to be there for all of the ups and downs, to know and be able to recognize when you’re struggling, maybe even before you do. You also want your rock to share in life’s delights, to revel in your accomplishments, and to remind you in those tougher times just how strong you really are.

So gather your person, your people, your group, whatever or whoever your recovery rock is going to be, share with them, lean on them, and don’t forget to support them as much they support you, eventually all involved will be leaning on one another. Get a rock, be a rock, and rock your recovery!

References
N.D. “Recovery and Recovery Support”. SAMHSA. (website). 2017
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  • 12 Commentsby Likes|Date
  • Vote Up1Vote Down
    gatorgirlgatorgirl

    I feel like if I had that kind of support from someone I wouldn't be here where I am.  I feel so judged by the very people I would seek to be my Rock, I am such a disappointment to them and myself.


  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    DeanDDeanD
    Don't let others' opinions get to you, @gatorgirl. I know it's hard sometimes, but we can't control what others think/say/do. The only person we can control is the one we see in the mirror. Perhaps you could find a recovery rock in a support group like AA or SMART Recovery. There are so many caring, supportive people in those groups. People who "get" what you're going through and understand exactly what you're feeling. They are a great resource.
  • Vote Up1Vote Down
    gatorgirlgatorgirl

    Thank you I will check into that.  It would be easier talking with people who understand what I am going through.  My BF is one of those that would say.. just stop.  Like if I could I would, kind of like smoking. 

    I read someone's comment about playing the whole tape, and that really made sense.

    Thanks again

  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    DeanDDeanD
    Anytime, @gatorgirl. That's what we're here for! :)
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    dominicadominica
    @gatorgirl we all need "mirrors" who will reflect back to us our amazing souls....you know we are all "good"... we all have our "stuff", but underneath all that, we're good.  

    you... are good. you've made some mistakes or poor choices... we all have. does not have to define us. not if we let it.

    maybe it's time to surround yourself with people who will be able to "hold space" for you....that means allow you to be right where you are on this life journey...and love you RIGHT THERE.... not based on what they think your life should look like....but JUST BECAUSE.... that's unconditional love or LOVE WITHOUT CONDITIONS. 

    that's not always easy, unless you're Jesus maybe ;)

    but there are those that are better at it than others.... 

    as far as you feeling disappointed with yourself, i understand that feeling. we all do.... but i also know that at my core...and much of the time, I AM GOOD. I AM WORTHY OF LOVE. I AM DOING MY BEST.

    so, allow us to mirror your beautiful soul to you. 

    you are good.
    you are worthy.
    not because of anything you do or don't do.

    just because.

    sending YOU big love.
  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    gatorgirlgatorgirl

    @dominica ; thank you.  You are very correct, I for one feel as though I am very good at the unconditional love aspect of life, always willing to see people for the person they are and not who I want them to be.  I have a disabled daughter that just turned 16 and think she more than anyone has taught me that.  I want people to see her for who she is and not the wheelchair she sits in.  It does also allow me to show a little too much empathy for others and none for myself.  Everyone that knows me always comments on how strong and independent I am.. and although it certain aspects of my life that is very true, it's the people I am closest too that I allow to manipulate me or not put me first ever, and that always saddens me and it also makes it hard to let anyone see this weakness within me.  Many people know I drink and have a good time, but none really know the problem that it truly is because I am such a private drinker.  But I know it's a problem and my kids know it's a problem.  I plan on attacking this problem like I would any other problem I face ... head on and with fierce determination because there is one thing I do know about myself .... I can do whatever I want, especially if someone thinks I can't.

    I love the encouragement this forum has the ability to be open and honest and gives me a chance to reflect upon myself in ways that maybe otherwise I wouldn't be able too. Without that fear of judgement it makes it so much easier.  Looking at yourself in an honest reflection is never easy, but in this way it makes it a bit easier.

  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    dominicadominica
    @gatorgirl  one of your life lessons is learning how to set and keep inner boundaries :) 

    self-love. self-worth. i love myself, and i'm not willing to spend time with those that want to take advantage of my goodness and generosity...

    i find a daily dose of motivational videos help me.. :)

    here's a great one on self-worth:


  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    Goodtr8sGoodtr8s
    @gatorgirl, hi there! I've been reading your posts and am glad you're here! You remind me of a friend we have here, @ocean. If you get a chance to read some of her journey, I think you'll see your ARE NOT ALONE and there ARE people who can relate to you and you to them. 
    I've been sober for over 13 years of alcohol, but, only about 3 months clean of pills. What a yo-yo life! 
    I did not have people who judged me. My family lifted me up when I was at my worst. I'm my own worst enemy and am trying very hard to change that! 
    I pray that you DO search for and find that ROCK you need and continue to know yourself better! You sound like a very wise woman... 

    Enjoyed the video, @dominica!

  • Vote Up3Vote Down
    changeyourselfchangeyourself

    I listen to guided meditations online for relaxation and releasing anxiety and stress , for finding your authentic self .I think they are great !Also like listening to a podcast about how to overcome the victim archetype and especially enjoy listening to music .I find listening to music one of the best ,if not the best , ways of overcoming worries .It helps me so much !.After I spend some time listening to music ,I forget my worries and start being more positive .My mind feels relieved .And  all those feelings a great song can evoke ,it's plain awesome .So good...!!! 

  • Vote Up0Vote Down
    DeanDDeanD
    Good for you, @changeyourself! :)
  • Vote Up1Vote Down
    changeyourselfchangeyourself

    @DeanD,

    It seems like I am trying to look fo external validation of my own importance...... :)

  • Vote Up1Vote Down
    changeyourselfchangeyourself

    @sclarke

    This statement can really make a great affirmation,I'll have to remember it,I think it's on point and sounds powerful - "Get a rock,be a rock and rock your recovery !!!"I get goose bumps when I read it,it has a strong message...Thank you for posting it !

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